u/alliequestionsyou

I graduated at the end of 2025 in a double degree or actuarial studies and commerce with a wam of 72. I got my actuarial part1s exemption from uni and actuarial control cycle part 2 but I barely got this (scraping at the 65 level). I’m stressing about the options I have in actuarial as I don’t even get past the cv stage for entry level roles. I currently have experience as a summer analyst in investments and current role in analytics. How screwed am I and should I give up. I think it might be cos of my wam but not sure what to do for my next steps.

So my boyfriend (24M brown) and I (19F brown) have been official for a month- before being official we talked for about 4months (during lockdown). During this time we fell in love with each other before getting physical at all and we knew once lockdown was over, it was going to be very steamy (and it was...kinda). Both of our parents know and I genuinely think he is going to be the one). Also to note that he has taken my virginity and he has slept with 12 other ppl before me (with the last one being his only ex). There are a few red flags that have got me thinking and I am not sure whether to proceed forward with the relationship. PLEASE need ur help with some advice!

1. He has called me his ex's name about 5 times.

We had discussed this this and let it slide every time but I don't understand how it's hard to mess that up that many times (our names are nothing alike). I did mention that if he does slip up once more that we would have a serious discussion about why and if he misses her or smth- i just think its just disrespectful and a little slap on the face.

2. He was in contact with his ex without mentioning it to me.

He had mentioned to me during lockdown (over face time) that if he were to get in contact with his ex, he would let me know and that he only had her on fb. After a week of being official, I see on his phone that his ex and him have a 5 day streak (he did not hide this when he was on sc in front of me and I take that as a good sign). After seeing this I was very confused and decided to bring this up. When I first brought it up to him he took her off his snapchat immediately and mentioned that he should have told me. However all he said was that she sends snaps about her day to day life that she sends to all of her other sc friends and he sent black screens that started the streak. It was only the second time I brought this up that he mentioned that she said she wanted to kill herself and he had sent those snaps to keep her sane. I asked him why he didn't tell me this the first time I had asked and he said that he didnt want to put all of this on me because we just became official.

3. He can't keep his man up for intercourse

Our makeout sessions and foreplay gets pretty steamy and his penis gets solid solid hard after I give him oral. However, just before we are about to have sex his boner disappears and it gets me to question myself if I did something to turn him off. He keeps mentioning that it was me and that he's getting stage fright but he tells me that this has never happened before. He had said to me previously that him and ex(21F asian) were only really sexually attracted and he said that he didnt really have an emotional connection with her. After hanging out for the whole day, he opens his sc confidently in front of me and goes through his snaps. He clicks on his 'my eyes only' and I asked him 'are you sure?' and he said 'yes theres nothing on here I'll show you'. Once he clicks it there are 4 nudes of his ex that he must have taken in bed with her and my heart drops. He immediately deletes them and apologises and said that she must have transferred them here and that he thought he deleted all the pics of her before he saw me. I believe him because why would he have openly opened that in front of me but I can't stop comparing myself to her and why he can't keep his penis up for me. It kind of pushes on all my insecurities on my body (darker features) especially because he's the first one to see me naked and take my virginity. I also can't unsee these nudes and imagine them get steamy every time I think of him which has been hurting me so much.

So my boyfriend (24M brown) and I (19F brown) have been official for a month- before being official we talked for about 4months (during lockdown). During this time we fell in love with each other before getting physical at all and we knew once lockdown was over, it was going to be very steamy (and it was...kinda). Both of our parents know and I genuinely think he is going to be the one). Also to note that he has taken my virginity and he has slept with 12 other ppl before me (with the last one being his only ex). There are a few red flags that have got me thinking and I am not sure whether to proceed forward with the relationship. PLEASE need ur help with some advice!

1. He has called me his ex's name about 5 times.

We had discussed this this and let it slide every time but I don't understand how it's hard to mess that up that many times (our names are nothing alike). I did mention that if he does slip up once more that we would have a serious discussion about why and if he misses her or smth- i just think its just disrespectful and a little slap on the face.

2. He was in contact with his ex without mentioning it to me.

He had mentioned to me during lockdown (over face time) that if he were to get in contact with his ex, he would let me know and that he only had her on fb. After a week of being official, I see on his phone that his ex and him have a 5 day streak (he did not hide this when he was on sc in front of me and I take that as a good sign). After seeing this I was very confused and decided to bring this up. When I first brought it up to him he took her off his snapchat immediately and mentioned that he should have told me. However all he said was that she sends snaps about her day to day life that she sends to all of her other sc friends and he sent black screens that started the streak. It was only the second time I brought this up that he mentioned that she said she wanted to kill herself and he had sent those snaps to keep her sane. I asked him why he didn't tell me this the first time I had asked and he said that he didnt want to put all of this on me because we just became official.

3. He can't keep his man up for intercourse

Our makeout sessions and foreplay gets pretty steamy and his penis gets solid solid hard after I give him oral. However, just before we are about to have sex his boner disappears and it gets me to question myself if I did something to turn him off. He keeps mentioning that it was me and that he's getting stage fright but he tells me that this has never happened before. He had said to me previously that him and ex(21F asian) were only really sexually attracted and he said that he didnt really have an emotional connection with her. After hanging out for the whole day, he opens his sc confidently in front of me and goes through his snaps. He clicks on his 'my eyes only' and I asked him 'are you sure?' and he said 'yes theres nothing on here I'll show you'. Once he clicks it there are 4 nudes of his ex that he must have taken in bed with her and my heart drops. He immediately deletes them and apologises and said that she must have transferred them here and that he thought he deleted all the pics of her before he saw me. I believe him because why would he have openly opened that in front of me but I can't stop comparing myself to her and why he can't keep his penis up for me. It kind of pushes on all my insecurities on my body (darker features) especially because he's the first one to see me naked and take my virginity. I also can't unsee these nudes and imagine them get steamy every time I think of him which has been hurting me so much.