Somali girls who were sent away as children to raise relatives' children, I would like to hear your story.
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Hi everyone.
I'm a Somali woman in my twenties, and I'm trying to understand whether what happened to me was as isolated as I once believed.
As a young child, I was taken from my mother and sent to live with relatives. My role wasn't simply to visit or be cared for. it was to help raise their children, do household work, and become whatever the family needed. I experienced abuse, parentification, and grew up feeling like I belonged nowhere. When I was no longer needed, I was expected to simply continue with life as though nothing had happened.
Over the years, I've learned that this isn't unheard of in some Somali families. Girls are sometimes sent to relatives to "help," but what follows can involve losing their childhood, becoming unpaid caregivers, experiencing abuse, and growing up disconnected from both the family they left and the one they lived with.
I'm writing a book exploring this experience—not just my own, but the voices of women who lived through something similar. At this stage, I'm not looking to publish anyone's story. I simply want to listen and understand.
If this happened to you, and you're comfortable sharing, I would be grateful to hear about:
- How old you were when you were sent away.
- Why you were told you were being sent.
- What your daily life was like.
- How you were treated compared with the children in the household.
- How the experience has affected you as an adult.
- Whether your family acknowledges what happened today.
You don't have to answer all of these questions. Share only what feels safe.
If you'd rather remain private, you're welcome to send me a direct message instead.
Please don't feel pressured to relive painful memories if you're not in a place to do so. Your wellbeing comes first.
Thank you for reading.