u/alreadyfedup77

So we are a married couple, 34 yo (both), married for almost 9 years now... Have two kids, one 8 years old and the other one around 1 and a half. Since second child was born, me and wife we barely had any moment to get any kind of intimate time what so ever...

We are very much kids focused parents and naturally most of our time belongs to them but this often exhausted us as kids sleep with us (that's by choice) so any intimate moment after they are asleep was always rushed and not so fun. And it was frustrating as it would go months (literally) before we stumble into sex somehow and that too would be quick and in fear of them waking up and seeing us in the moment. Honestly we forgot about what a couple's life is and what romance actually feels like.

We started with taking few hours each weekend by going to the movies and breakfast to get our time back somehow. We liked this time together and got fond of this time. This is also strictly defined by junior's day nap time.

One day just out of nowhere, idea came, why not instead of movies, we just go to some hotel or airbnb and spend time there, some nearby area. But since we only had limited day time available Saturday Sunday, it was an awkward and pricey deal but was worth a shot. So for a test run, I booked a small airbnb apartment around 10 minutes drive from our house.

It took a lot prep too, I'd go there one night early to have the room checked out properly. I'd do movie setup there, snacks and cold drinks. First time we went, it was AMAZINGG. It felt like an affair but except this time, it wasn't. It felt very very natural. We felt connecting, that first day we were there, we had s*x three times in short three hour window that was available to us. We both came back happy and excited that we just unlocked a major pleasure in our lives which was missing.

9 years married and we are sneaking around like teenagers, and honestly I recommend it.

Update:

A lot of people asking "this time?" so just a quick clarity, she and I used to date before marriage and had visited hotel rooms before we got married which is a very big thing here in our culture so at the time that indeed an affair as per our culture.

Hi all. I made this account back in 2022, barely used it, and recently came back properly. I've been commenting for a bit and I'm slowly getting how things work, but I'd rather ask early than learn by getting banned.

Some honest context: I'm a software developer. I build things, some for international users and one free tool for people in my own country. Naturally I'd love for people to eventually find them. But I've read enough threads to know Reddit has strong feelings about self-promotion, and I've seen how badly it goes for people who show up only to drop links.

So my questions for people who've been here longer:

1. What's the actual etiquette for a builder sharing their own work? I keep seeing "9 to 1 ratio" mentioned in some places and "just read each sub's rules" in others.
2. How long or how much should someone participate in a community before sharing anything of their own?
3. Is it better to mention you built something only when it's directly relevant to a question someone asked, or are dedicated "I made this" posts okay in subs that allow them?
4. Any mistakes you see returning accounts like mine make that I should avoid?

Not linking or naming anything here on purpose, this post is about learning the norms, not promoting. Appreciate any wisdom, including "you're overthinking it" if that's the honest answer.