Please please need advise.....I want to confess to crush, but her personality has me confused. Need advice.
I have had a crush on a girl for more than a one year . We used to work at the same company but in different processes, and we never spoke a single word to each other while we were there. Although we saw each other multiple times in the cafeteria and around the office, we never had any interaction.
After she left the company, I somehow found out her name by seeing it on her locker. One day, I waited near the locker area until she came after logging out, and I saw her opening her locker. That's how I got to know her name.
After she left the company, I sent her a follow request on Instagram, and she accepted it. I had been waiting for the right moment to talk to her because it felt weird to message someone I had never spoken to before, even though we used to see each other almost every day at work.
I decided to wait until her birthday. I wished her, and she replied with "Thank you 😊." Later, I realized she had replied to everyone who wished her on their stories, which made me feel a little sad because I had hoped she might respond differently to me. But that's okay. I still wasn't able to continue the conversation.
For the past few days, I've been thinking about telling her that I have a crush on her. I don't want to live with the regret of never expressing my feelings. I just want her to know that there was a guy who genuinely liked her. I don't expect anything in return I just want to be a part of her life in any form, even if it's only as someone who once cared about her.
At the same time, I feel like I haven't achieved anything in my life yet. I want to become a software engineer, and I feel like this is the most important stage of my career. It's not that I can't focus on both my career and my feelings at the same time, but it feels like a gamble during such a crucial phase of my life.
I'm also confused about her personality. She often likes reels that make her seem like a "man hater." She likes creators like Approva Rebel Kid, loves fictional male characters, likes reels about being quarrelsome, and watches shows like Splitsvilla and other reality shows. But at the same time, she also likes romantic reels about wanting a man who carries her photo in his wallet, tattoos her name on his neck, and treats her with love and care.
One more thing that makes this difficult is that I don't fall in love easily. I'm not someone who develops crushes on people all the time. When I do like someone, my feelings tend to last for a long time. In her case, I've had a crush on her for well over a year. That's one of the reasons I'm finding it so hard to just move on without at least letting her know how I feel.
Something else happened yesterday that made me think. I was talking to one of my female colleagues, and she told me, "Why are you rejecting yourself before she even has the chance to? You look good." Still, what she said made me question whether I'm being too harsh on myself and assuming rejection before I've even given this girl a chance to know how I feel.
What should I do?