u/andanteccc

Have you ever felt like people misunderstand you right away? They might see you or hear your name and make assumptions that don’t fit. At times, maybe you correct them; other times, it might feel easier to just let it go.

I think many TCKs (including myself) feel stuck between how we are seen and who we really are. Sometimes people treat you like you belong, even when you feel out of place. Other times, you feel like an outsider in the place that is supposed to be home.

This is one of the areas that keeps coming up in our TCK calls:

When you say where you're from, what do people assume, and how often is it right?
Is there a culture that genuinely shaped you that you don't feel allowed to claim?

I put a longer set of these prompts here if it's useful: https://tcksupport.com/tck-journal-prompts-culture-belonging-and-identity/

I also run a free monthly call for adult TCKs, and this month's is on this very topic: getting read wrong and what it means to feel whole across the cultures that shaped you. It's this Saturday, July 4, 10 AM CDT / 3 PM UTC, on Zoom, and it's free and open to any adult TCKs. Details and the link are on the page above if you'd like to come.

Mostly, I want to hear how other people here deal with being misread.

One of the most important relationships when it comes to TCKs and our stories, and one that doesn't get talked about enough, is the one with our siblings (if you have one).

They are often the only people who fully understand your context: the moves, the goodbyes, the specific food you ate at that one restaurant on the corner, all of it. And yet they so often come away with completely different perspectives on what their own TCK experience was.

This Saturday I'm hosting our monthly TCK support call on this very subject: what it was like, and why it makes so much sense that siblings end up with such different stories.

June 6, 10:00 AM CDT (15:00 UTC), free and open to any adult TCK: tcksupport.com/tcksupportcall

It's a small, free gathering on Zoom, more conversation than lecture, with time in smaller groups where you actually get to be heard, and no pressure to share more than you want.

But I'd love to hear what your experience was like too. Did you and your siblings seem to live the same childhood, or completely different ones? And what do you think shaped the difference?

The people who look at you and guess wrong

TCKs with siblings: did you two live the same childhood, or completely different ones?