u/andybernardssweaters

I apologized for accidentally activating my twin (DM runner in bad relationship). The apology wasn't from a place of "please come back" or "notice me". It hurt me to hurt her, even if I didn't mean to.

I texted her the apology and immediately felt lighter. Like.. joyous, almost. She didn't respond and hasn't (can't afford to either, given the nature of her relationship, even though it's on its last legs from what I feel). But still.. I started sleeping better and everything lol.

I see angel numbers constantly but right after I apologized, 111 started appearing everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I've been doing outer and inner work, identifying my patterns and wounds, and ultimately living. She's embedded in me though. This feeling comes with the territory now. The 111 could be anything.. even something not related to her. I just get the feeling that we're closer to union now.

Anyone else feeling the potency?

What should we expect?

I used to be wholly obsessed with my runner twin. It's since subsided. I'm busy running my company & at least attempting to date other women. I've noticed a pattern I fell into that absolutely ended with my twin as well. Shadow work is happening. So I'm pressing on.

There are still stints where I think about her and us heavily. I don't spiral but I do still pine for her. And of course her energy leaks over to me (unsure if it's vice versa).

So.. have I surrendered? Am I in early stages? Is this just loosening its grip? From what I read on here, surrendering has been sounding like not caring at all or being disgusted.. and I know I won't ever get THERE with her, at least. She's not like that. She's me.

I've been the romantic chaser all of my life lol. From my teenage years. It's an easy role. It's a comfortable role. But it's a pattern.

Met my twin and fell into the same role. Except it felt like giving to her somehow poured back into me. She's not selfish or a user.. she's a soul looking for a place to rest.

She's doing her own thing & has been in a relationship for awhile (not a good one). It hit me today after seeing this nice romance movie.. I want to be chosen. Like now. I don't wanna run behind her in any way anymore. The two lovebirds of the movie just naturally came together. One was super avoidant and they STILL came together.

Anyway I'm ranting! No more chasing

I feel unlovable & scared. And raw.. that normal?

How's it going? Does your twin ever reach out energetically or physically?

I am finally detaching. Long story.

I need the fulfillment of an actual partner or something adjacent now.

I just know *she* will be able to feel it. I think she feels the energy evening out now. So I can imagine what it'll be like when I'm with another woman.

My runner is chasing her toxic relationship (appears to be ending). And I'm trying not to chase her.. but am. she may hate me but whatever.

I think she blames me for the demise of her relationship, in some way. A mystery to me because we never did anything. Her bf was the unfaithful party b/w them but I digress.

She blocked me to make him feel better (again idk what he feels regarding me). I'm tired of feeling bad about it. Like I'm the bad guy. I hate this journey with a passion. Truly.

I'm not chasing anymore. I'm looking for ways to detach now. This has been horrible.

Life's been moving forward on this end. Returning to self & all that. But today I just want to sit with her. Talk to her. Listen to her. I haven't heard her speak or say my name in so long. I'd listen to her talk.. even if it's about him. Will be grateful to have another in my heart when the time comes. It'll help with these days.
The pain is less painful lately, I admit. I imagine I'll wake up one day and there won't be pain.. just fondness. I know most don't have union.. but we will. Knowing that I have to release it to receive it is tough.

Can the runners tell me why you all blocked your chasers? If you blocked them.

And if you unblocked them, how did that turn out?

I'm trying to be my own person and grow away from my runner and all that. I just can't understand her intentions or what she could've felt to just block me.

After everything, I still hope that one day when the dust settles.. we come back together. Both with clean slates. Both with clear heads. And you hear what I really feel about you. You hear what you have always meant to me. And hopefully.. your heart is healed enough to express to me what I believe you feel. A piece of my soul lies with you.

Had a dream that I had more to it but what I can remember.. is I was in my dad's neighborhood wandering around (where I end up in my dreams sometimes, idk why either).. and I was tired of walking. So I didn't call my twin... I called her boyfriend. I KNOW!!! Wtf. Crazier? He answered and calmly agreed to pick me up.. and then he said "you and your twin are just alike" over the phone.

I don't hate the guy! He's just always felt like an obstacle. An adversary. So that dream was weird. And weirder.. I prayed for him that day. Like legitimately asked God to give him what he needs to take care of her during this season of her life. Someone who interprets dreams.. HELP.

So I've reached a new level of insanity behind this woman. I think she's going through something rough. Keep in mind I'm still blocked & I have no idea how she feels about me. I've felt less obsessive and looping in the past few days.. even though I hold the belief that union is inevitable.

I'm tied to my twin's energy and I'm exhausted. My sources tell me she's going through things in addition to her dog poop relationship & I can literally feel when she's reeling. I felt her before we were in separation (quite easily I might add). I can feel her spiraling sometimes and it's frustrating. One because I hate whoever hurts her. Two because I know I'd be able to help. Three because the guy she's with SHOULD be able to do SOMETHING but he's a turd that causes insecurities in her so I know he's useless.

I guess I'm the divine feminine and she's the runner DM. Wish I could help but from what everyone's saying, the best way to help is to help myself.. if she's me and I'm her. Plus in the 3D I'm not helpful to her right now (blocked). This is rough. I'm jumping into the pissy dating pool very soon so. That should help my mind. All advice welcomed.

My twin blocked me (she's the runner & DF). Apparently she's been on socials seemingly convincing herself she's done the right thing. She's actively choosing a toxic relationship and has been for awhile. Whatever.

My problem is is I go back & forth between being at peace because I need myself back and ascension is on the horizon.. and being so pissed with her for literally SPRINTING from this. I can feel when she's orbiting her truth. It's so strong.. and then poof. Back into toxicity.

I keep hearing that union is like a bonus and I swear I'm trying to center myself. It's been awhile since I've been interested in anyone else.. so I'm thinking maybe something nice and reciprocal in the physical will give me the push I need. Idk. I miss her and I get flashes of us so easily that it's genuinely not funny anymore.