u/anonanonplease123

I might be getting divorced. I probably should definitely be, but I'm still hanging on a little bit.

It's destroying me though. My relationship was going okay a month ago. My husband has some mental health issues. He went off medication, had too much weed, relapsed and went certifiably nuts. He'd done this before but the hospital had brought him back with medication. He was weird for a few months but eventually we stabilized.

That first time it was en expensive nightmare, and heartbreaking. Him missing, coming back hostile, talking about leaving me, me having to take him to the ER when he went insane, and then a week of crying at my parents in between hospital visits when he was admitted into a ward.

It was two years since then. He just put his brain back into the same mess. He's not in the ward this time. He's back on his meds and presenting stable expect he's been acting like I'm the enemy and he needs to get away from me. Being sweet one day. Disappearing with the car the next day and calling people to pick me up because he knew he ruined my plans by taking the car.

I think he can make a full recovery again, but I'm so scared this will repeat a third time, and a fourth, and maybe forever. If he stays on his medicine maybe its fine, but that's out of my control and I hate being the first thing he tries to cut off when he goes nuts.

I love him. We' almost 40. Been together half our lives.

I feel like shit. I don't know whats going on every day. Which 'him' I'll get to see. Its so confusing because he's not himself right now.

It feels like i need to cut him off and learn to live again but I don't want to do that yet. I want this to magically be okay like it was last time. I think that's stupid though because this has proven it can re-happen. I'm sure most people will tell me its time to go. He has a lot of issues that make me feel so scared often (one being he drops all communication when he's upset)

I'm having trouble sleeping and eating.

We have pets too. They can't be split up. I don't want to lose my pets. I can't really take care of them alone if they need to be medicated and forced into a carrier for a vet trip, but maybe I can find a professional who can come in and help me if needed. I have no idea. I can care for them fine when they don't need medicine put in them.

I dont' want to lose my house. I dont know how to split the money. We dont have much money. We have some. I've been the one supporting us for the last 4 years so at least I have that to me.

How do you take care of yourself when you're still in the process of it all?

also my job is a freaken wedding performer, and every time i hear romantic songs its a battle not to cry. lmao. i have a wedding this week too.

My Q is 1 month sober and has been saying he wants to leave our 20 year relationship. I'm just really really sad.

I really thought we were doing better until his last bout of psychosis that jumbled him up.

He's said all the good times were just because he was high and using that to deal with life. Now that he's sober, he's not happy with me.

That sucks. It just really sucks. I don't think its fair either because he's only been back on his medication for a month and just sober for a month so research says his moods/ideas aren't stable yet.

but I don't know.

i've been the only one of us working for the last 4 years and its been hard to make ends meet. Some of his chief complaints about me include being cheap, and always stressed about work and never chill. I really don't think its fair.

i also don't think he was like this prior to psychosis, but he says it was the weed making him content enough and now that he's sober he can't ignore how unhappy he is.

when he got out of the hospital a few years ago for his first psychosis he recovered a few months and then promised he'd never do this to me again and that he was stupid for ever wanting to leave me. yet here we are again. i want to believe he'll take it back after his medicine has a few more months in him again. (he took himself off it last year by accident when his doctor changed his pharmacy without telling him so he thought he was done.)

anyway this sucks. my nerves are wrecked all the time and I'm falling way behind on work (and im a contractor so i don't get paid if i don't work).

im going to my first alanon meeting tuesday. i hope i don't cry there because i like to wear eyeliner and then i have to take the bus home.. anyway idk. im a bit distraught right now. thanks for reading.

Hi, I'm not really sure what I'm doing anymore. My partner finally admitted they have a problem and started AA after a recent weed-induced psychosis, and they've just been so cold and non-understanding towards me and any feelings I have related to the whole situation, that I'm losing hope.

They tell me things from their meetings, and the talk about themself a lot now. They're suddenly there for every friend they've ever made-- which is really great-- but watching them go through psychosis twice and hearing all the terrible things they said to me both times; thoughts of leaving me for a different gender partner, calling me their biggest trigger, saying i manipulate them with my feels...and then other worse things about me when they had actual paranoia, and telling their parents all their delusions about me. -- well I guess I'm desperate for an apology or at least some acknowledgement, but they get hyper-defensive and instantly mad when ever I try to ask for this.

Is that something that will change when they're sober for longer? Its only been 1 month. I read it could take a few months before their mood truly stabilizes. The thing is, I'm living on constant edge. I'm so scared they're going to relapse, and I'm so sad they're not emotionally supportive.

or anything really. Am i supposed to just be endlessly supportive because they're on a sober journey now? i don't get any apology or anything for all the stuff i've stuck around for?

i'm sure i do still love them. i just feel like garbage right now. they 'sleeping at their parents' but they took our only car.

I don't really want to leave them. I want them to go back to being nice and kind. I just want the emotional pain to stop and I want them to hold themself accountable for how shitty they're being. Lol this is them sober.

Does that ever happen? any success stories?

My spouse has finally been sober (from weed) for almost a month (after giving himself a bout of psychosis) and then needing to re-start his antipsychotics. He quit alcohol a few years ago, but switched his addiction to weed, convincing me it was better for him. Turns out, it was not good either.

My question is: does anyone know if mood instability is a common effect of someone finally being sober, and how long it takes them to level out?

He was honestly a lot sweeter, empathetic, and patient when he was high. I am glad he's working towards being sober, but it's been a nightmare here these last weeks, and I don't know if our marriage is going to survive this new him. He's basically said all the good stuff in our past was just him being high, and this him that doesn't seem to like our life much is the real him.

Chatgpt (i know, its not a good source but i don't have any other resources) said that suddenly getting sober messes with the persons mood and irritability and logic for a couple of weeks--even months. Has anyone seen this situation play out before? is there a light at the end of the tunnel or am i cooked?

anyway, he's sort of blaming me for him not being happy and needing drugs or alcohol and I've just been through the wringer these last 6+ years. wowow i hope i don't get divorced and he turns back into the person i fell in love with. I guess i just want to know if that's even possible at this point. Alcoholic him was a terror who broke 2 tvs, but sober from weed him has been a butthead.