u/anonononme

Public defenders get bad reps. With my experience and educational background, I can easily get a high paying job at a law firm but I love my job and would never consider working for a law firm or for myself. It pains to me to see the prices that private attorneys charge or when clients decide to hire a crappy private attorney because they think their case will be managed better with a private attorney but the reality is that most private attorneys are pretty terrible, they don't know what they're doing, and they charge clients for appearances that are even completely avoidable. They take money from a client knowing a case will get dismissed with 0 work required. They don't show up for the arraignment, make one of us public defenders do it and then take the money from the client even after I've already figured out the resolution or informed them the case is going to be dismissed on the next court date.

Further, while our caseloads are high, we have resources that most private attorneys don't.

People need to be made aware of this and learn more about what PDs actually do so AMA.

I always initiated. My husband never does and he has mentioned several times over the years that it's really hard for him. We've talked about it. Now we barely have sex because my libido has gone down since having a kid but I still wonder if maybe something's wrong in my marriage or are there really men who are attracted to their wives but don't care much for sex and also are completely incapable of initiating? We're both attractive people but perhaps he's not attracted to me enough.