u/anonyavatar

Wealthy developer bought my neighbors <1500 sqft house for $1.7M. Developer knocked down the house and is building a new home, lot line to lot line, and will be <2500 sqft according to permits filed with the city. This developer will likely have to sell this house for $3M+ for this to make sense. No one is going to be able to afford to live here.

Edit: I don’t own my home. I rent. This increases the property value for my landlord and means I’ll never be able to buy in this neighborhood despite having a great career and seemingly “doing everything right”.
If any Boomer with property needs to adopt an adult as a child, I’m taking applications.

I (39F) found out my long-distance partner (43M) had been on a dating app throughout our entire 1.5-year relationship. He also admitted to kissing another woman who was an old friend (did not meet through the app). When I last saw him, he tried to break up with me, citing problems in our relationship that I later realized weren't actually the issue. He made this up because it was actually his guilt for what he's done which was eating him up inside.

When I discovered everything, I blocked him because I was devastated. I genuinely believed this was the man I could spend the rest of my life with. After a while he started trying to reach me through email and by contacting friends. Eventually, I agreed to have a conversation.

During that conversation, he took responsibility for what he'd done without blaming me for his actions. I told him that if he truly wanted to understand why he did this, he needed therapy rather than simply apologizing. He started therapy immediately and has continued going every week.

He says he never actually met anyone from the dating app. I know people here will probably be skeptical, but he voluntarily handed me his phone and let me read every conversation. They were mostly short, superficial exchanges that never turned into dates or emotional relationships. If anything, they seemed more like attempts to get attention or validation than genuine efforts to start another relationship.

Before all of this happened, he had been actively trying to transfer into a remote position at work so he could move to my city. I have an established career that requires me to be in person, and my entire family lives in this area, so relocating isn't a realistic option for me at this time. As far as I knew, he and I were actively planning a future together.

What's making this so difficult is that, aside from this betrayal, he was genuinely the kindest, most attentive, and emotionally supportive partner I've ever had and it's felt like a unicorn in today's modern dating world. Our day-to-day relationship was loving. I never suspected he was capable of something like this, and he didn't either, which is part of why this has been so shocking. He said that he never thought he'd be capable of these actions, and I believe him, but it also shows that no one ever knows what their partner is capable of and sometimes you don't know that about yourself.

If you stayed after something like this, what convinced you to stay? Do you regret your choice? In my past, I never thought I'd consider staying. (Years ago a man I was dating at the time exchanged phone numbers with another woman while he was on a work trip. I found out and immediate broke up with him and never looked back (that was absolutely the right decision)).

TLDR: I found out my partner was on a dating app throughout our 1.5-year relationship and kissed another woman (an old friend, not having met through the app). He's remorseful, immediately started therapy, and wants to rebuild our relationship. Aside from this, he's the best partner I've had. Is this something a couple can truly resolve and rebuild trust from?