u/anothersadmf5

Everywhere I look, there's more and more AI slop. Obviously reels and tiktok are worst hit and luckily became practically unwatchable for me, but even youtube is getting flooded by randos narrating LLM scripts on topics they have no idea about, and reddit is getting more and more bots on it.

Now that's bad in general, but it makes me less and less interested in doomscrolling or browsing in general, so I guess maybe that's a net positive?

It seems like I have an innate tendency to fall apart every year.
I will try something to fix my life, keep on it for a few months, then start falling apart.

I somehow managed to stay on point for the past few months, doing what needs doing every day (work, study, exercise, socialize etc, limiting phone time, eating healthy), I did well, I had some results on all fronts, and then the slightest perturbation of this new normality sent me off into a downward spiral.

I'm 3 months away from getting my degree (yes I'm over 30, sadly), I made some friends, I didn't go far on the exercise front but that should have been ok.

Yet now I'm a total mess. I risk failing uni, stopped exercising, I've gained weight, restarted vaping, don't want to socialize and barely have enough energy to get off my ass to cook and clean.

Looking at things clearly, this is just textbook depression. Some amount of being displeased with myself would be in order, because there are things I didn't achieve, but wow, that is bad.

I'm not sure if this is pathological or if I'm just unwilling to accept whatever reason is causing this, but I really need to find a consistent way to get out of this. Even willing to try pharmaceuticals at this point.

I this a pattern for anyone else? Have you found a consistent way to get out of these depressive episodes before they get too bad?