u/armalitepattern2

I've been working on a Cursed Seapower mod, in the style of InfernoPlus' Cursed Halo. Our theme to start with was "Post Soviet Garage Sale." I'm new to modding, but this is what I've got so far:

SHIPS AND SUBS
- Admiral Pizdyuk (Kuznetsov)
  - Permanently on fire. Lists to port. Vodka-bottle figurehead. Always sails with its Mandatory Tug.
- Moskva II: The Floatening (Slava)
  - Lists to starboard and sits bow-down. Forward gun swapped for a Sverdlov triple 152 mm turret with the "Vova" autoloader, repurposed from T-72s. Zircons are vodka bottles cruising at about 25 mph. One battery is the Boomerang Edition. Still trying to figure out how to make the Osas detonate harmlessly in a chaff cloud. Her helicopter was sold for a Lada and a goat, so she carries a hot air balloon instead (see aircraft).
- Hvaldimir (Echo II)
  - A whale-shaped submarine wearing Sovremenny guns and SA-N-7s. It must surface to fire. Also has a functional towed array.
- Krab (trawler)
  - Uncle Vova's crab boat, armed with anti-ship missile launchers. Anyone who touches it gets the whale.
- Utochka (giant rubber duck decoy)
  - A 160 m inflatable duck that radiates like a Kirov. Too fast for any warship to keep up with, which makes it useless as a decoy. Commissioned by personal edict of the Chief of the Naval Staff for Ducks (my daughter).
- Banan (giant rubber banana decoy)
  - A 170 m inflatable banana that radiates like the carrier Kiev. Does 420 knots and can barely turn, so it leaves its own fleet over the horizon.
Aircraft
- Ka-0 Vozdushny Shar (hot air balloon, launched off Moskva II)
  - Envelope art: a cartoon Prigozhin screaming at Shoigu and Gerasimov. Additional thrust beyond a stiff breeze comes from a Lada engine plus a Ka-27 rotor as a pusher prop, 45 knots. Two sailors in the basket. Loadouts: barrel bombs, lit cast-iron stoves (Banya), vodka Zircons (Vodka Run), R-73s (Red Baron) and a nuclear missile with a two-mile range (Strategic Drift).
- Su-33 "Unarrested Development"
  - Carries the Chekushka, a quarter-litre vodka Zircon, or a loadout that claims to include 12 R-73 but only contains two
- Yak-38M "Forgetter"
  - Carries the Kh-55 Pyrrhic: a nuclear cruise missile with a 2 nm range and a 10 km blast radius. It reliably kills the aircraft that launched it, and in testing it took out half the fleet too.
- Ka-27PS "Fisherman's Friend"
  - Mostly fishes Yak-38 pilots out of the sea. Its squadrons include the Oligarch Window-Inspection Flight.
  - Can carry barrel bombs, R-73s, a nuke, or a Moskit.

I'm interested to hear your ideas for additional cursed things I can add.

Cursed Seapower

Greetings from California