u/arsojee

Title. I am 35 now and have severe anxiety related to aging and loosing my loved ones. The 'process' has begun in this phase of life as my uncles and aunts have started leaving this world. I am highly sesitive. I feel it deeply that just a few years ago, before I entered my 30's the same people had still got it, but now them becoming older and weaker is hurting. Perhaps I am looking for reassurance or a reality check. Honestly I never thought 35 would come this quick.

Previous post was removed, so reposting.

I feel stupid. Genuinely. Intellectually very dumb.

My comprehension is poor. I was never good at maths since childhood and I chose the wrong academic path. Finance. Another stupid decision, due to which I had to repeat all quantitative subjects 4-5 times before I cleared them. Never had a problem with qualitative subjects. I never knew what to do in life. I now have 4 different degrees in different domains. Marketing finance admin and banking, but I have experience of none. They are just degrees, I forgot whatever was taught.

Creative arts is where I feel so good. If I could do it all over again, I'd choose media sciences or advertising.

Anyway career wise I got a job in education which is one of the most stressful jobs due to examinations and restrictive leaves during exam period, and I cannot switch careers now in my early 30's. Due to lack of experience I cannot get a job in any other sector apart from academia. I feel it's too late to up skill. Peers my age are settled with families. I am still in my early 20's zone mentally.

I feel behind in life. I just don't understand anything. My memory is so poor. I feel like a failure. The way I carry myself and the energy and aura I exude is of a very intelligent , level-headed man, and if I prepare well, I can 'act' really good in job interviews. That has 'fooled' top most employers into hiring me, only to regret later as I cannot register basic instructions mentally, resultantly I was either let go or quit myself. I made a lot of critical mistakes at work.

Even my family doesn't entrust me with any important tasks because they know I would fuck up. Any post I put on reddit or any other platform is met with ridicule and brutal trolling, which further solidified my being stupid belief.

I have a Strong belief that I probably have ADHD. And I am hoping getting medicated would improve my cognition. I can't live the life of an intellectually disabled man.

In one job termination letter, it was literally mentioned that colleagues have been apprehensive because he asks to repeat themselves and that your comprehension is poor'

I feel done with life. By the way. Trigger ⚠️ warning

I am a survivor of a failed s ...de attempt. It led to a permanent broken shoulder, fixed through rods, screws and plate. I still can't move my right shoulder with the agility that I used too.

What can I do to live?

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I feel stupid. Genuinely retarded.

My comprehension is poor. I was never good at maths since childhood and I chose the wrong academic path. Finance. Another stupid decision, due to which I had to repeat all quantitative subjects 4-5 times before I cleared them. Never had a problem with qualitative subjects. I never knew what to do in life. I now have 4 different degrees in different domains. Marketing finance admin and banking, but I have experience of none. They are just degrees, I forgot whatever was taught.

Creative arts is where I feel so good. If I could do it all over again, I'd choose media sciences or advertising.

Anyway career wise I got a job in education which is one of the most stressful jobs due to examinations and restrictive leaves during exam period, and I cannot switch careers now in my early 30's. Due to lack of experience I cannot get a job in any other sector apart from academia. I feel it's too late to up skill. Peers my age are settled with families. I am still in my early 20's zone mentally.

I feel behind in life. I just don't understand anything. My memory is so poor. I feel like a failure. The way I carry myself and the energy and aura I exude is of a very intelligent , level-headed man, and if I prepare well, I can 'act' really good in job interviews. That has 'fooled' top most employers into hiring me, only to regret later as I cannot register basic instructions mentally, resultantly I was either let go or quit myself. I made a lot of critical mistakes at work.

Even my family doesn't entrust me with any important tasks because they know I would fuck up. Any post I put on reddit or any other platform is met with ridicule and brutal trolling, which further solidified my being stupid belief.

I have a Strong belief that I probably have ADHD. And I am hoping getting medicated would improve my cognition. I can't live the life of a retarded man.

In one job termination letter, it was literally mentioned that colleagues have been apprehensive because he asks to repeat themselves and that your comprehension is poor'

I feel done with life. By the way. Trigger ⚠️ warning

I am a survivor of a failed s ...de attempt. It led to a permanent broken shoulder, fixed through rods, screws and plate. I still can't move my right shoulder with the agility that I used too.

What can I do to live?

• My Graduate visa has expired, and I had to reluctantly return to my country of origin.
• I had submitted my application at a very large and esteemed organisation. I knew my visa was expiring and I needed a sponsored role urgently. They took a long time shortlisting and I was only invited to the virtual interview when I had already returned back to my country of origin.
• Interview cleared. Received Offer letter last Friday. There is one particular issue, even though the organisation is very well-known for being 'generous' in offering visa sponsorships, my particular post unfortunately does not meet the sponsorship criteria, it was mentioned in their job advert clearly that they would not sponsor this particular post, and honestly, I missed it. At the time I was just skimming through the JD's and was mass applying for jobs.
• The salary range is 30-40 K. They offered me the job at the bottom of the range. No right-- to-work questions were asked at the interview.
• What should I do now? Tell them about the 'new entrant' scheme, and ask/request for visa sponsorship anyway? Even though the advert clearly says they won't consider sponsoring for this particular post.
• I have 5 working days to respond to the offer, and I don't know how I should 'tackle this situation', or what I should write to HR. It is a very good post, which I clearly don't want to miss, but the constrainsts are evident.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Can someone in all good conscience link to any tutorial on YT or any guide on how to actually make money through TikTok monetization

There are so many so-called consultants, tons of videos and the rules change constantly, it is honestly frustrating to navigate the maze.

Can someone please direct me to a viable resource that will teach me how to make money through TT monetization.

I feel severely mentally unwell. Even though it doesn't look like it to anyone else.

-I am very well educated

- I keep myself well-dressed and immaculately groomed

-My personality reflects an aura of an intellectual and level-headed man.

Despite all this I have been suffering for many years, and I don't know why. I just always wanted more from life. More as in more recognition, more adventure, more friendships, more attention, more love- in all honesty, I had created a fantasy world with a lot of expectations, and when those were not met in real life I became extremely livid.. I was born extremely beautiful in childhood, but I have no idea why my beauty faded as an adult. I always wanted attention from the ladies, but in uni and college, I got none.

My recent mental state became so poor that I had to quit my job, because I cannot comprehend anything, and always have to ask people to repeat themselves. I don't even understand basic instrctions or social cues.

I have being financially dependent on my family at this age (early 30s). I hate to be a failure because I don't deserve it.

No one has been able to properly diagnose me. I have trialled every antidepressent , you name it, I have probably had it. Except for anti-psychotics.

I suspect ADHD, and will consult soon. I lack attention to details and have zero energy. I am always sad. And I have been told my face looks tired and eyes droopy ( moderate ptosis 3mm droop)

I just feel so hopeless and purposeless. I make so many goals in my diary, but when I set out to work, I get lost. I made a full skill development plan but I just can't sustain attention.

Please help me. I feel I am loosing my mind