You are God's way of saying sorry for all the heartbreaks I had before.
I should’ve written this a long time ago, but I’ve been wanting to put into words just how grateful I am for my boyfriend, K.
K, the guy I ghosted for a month last year. The guy I had been mutuals with on Instagram for months but never actually met or dated. We were just two random people replying to each other’s stories every now and then. I honestly don’t know exactly how it happened, but somehow, this man became one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
For the longest time, I tried dating different kinds of men. Broke, narcissistic, arrogant, cheaters, womanizers, you name it. After experiencing all of that, you really can’t blame me for building my walls too high. Who wouldn’t be afraid of ending up with the wrong person and having that person become their partner for life?
But then there was K.
He never gave me mixed signals. He was certain about me from the very beginning. He was certain that he liked me, certain that he wanted to date me, and now that we’re together, he’s just as certain that he wants to marry me. Imagine being with someone who talks about saving for our marriage, our future home, and the family we might build someday. It’s such a different kind of reassurance, the kind that makes you feel like someone isn’t just dating you for the present, but genuinely sees you in their future.
One of the things I love most about K is how patient and understanding he is. He has such a long patience with me, even during moments when I know I can be difficult. Whenever we have arguments, he’s usually the first one to say sorry. We talk things through, we resolve our problems, and we never allow each other to go to sleep carrying resentment. We may not always agree, but we always choose to understand each other and fix things together.
He also shows his love in ways that sometimes make me realize that I’ve been looking at love through the standards I see on social media.
He travels from Pampanga to Taguig every weekend just to spend time with me. He bought me a smart monitor because I once mentioned how inconvenient it was to connect my laptop to a regular monitor. He bought me a printer because I told him I wanted to print my handouts for my review. He even bought me a Nespresso machine because I complained about how impractical it was to spend ₱300+ on coffee every day.
And honestly, every single thing he has given me feels like it came straight from his heart. Not because I asked for them, but because he listens to the little things I say and remembers them. He simply wants to make my life a little easier and make me happy.
I used to get tampo and wonder why I didn’t receive flowers as often as I saw other couples receiving them. But I’m slowly learning that love doesn’t always look the same for everyone. Maybe K’s way of saying “I love you” isn’t always through flowers. Maybe it’s through the long drives from Pampanga, the things he remembers, the things he fixes, the things he buys because he knows they would make my life easier, and the way he consistently shows up for me.
And honestly, those things mean so much more to me.
What makes our story even more special is that we both had lives before we met each other. We both dated other people, explored, got to know different kinds of people, and, at some point, got our hearts broken. We both had experiences that taught us what we wanted, what we didn’t want, and what kind of love we deserved.
Sometimes I think about all the heartbreaks I had to go through before meeting him. And if someone gave me the chance to go back in time and experience all of them again, the disappointment, the pain, the wrong people, the tears, the lessons, I think I would. If the prize at the end of all those heartbreaks was K, I would gladly go through them all over again. Because somehow, all those wrong turns led me to the right person.
Maybe that’s why I don’t regret the things that happened before him anymore. They may have hurt me at the time, but they also brought me to a place where I could recognize and appreciate the kind of love K gives me. And maybe all the things he went through before meeting me were necessary too, because somehow, after everything, we still found each other.
I used to pray to God that whenever I dated someone, He would remove that person from my life if he wasn’t meant to be my lifetime partner. I wanted God to protect me from wasting my time with someone who wasn’t meant for me.
But with K, my prayer has changed.
Instead of asking God to take him away if he isn’t meant for me, I find myself praying that God helps me become a better person for him. I pray that I become the kind of partner he deserves. I pray that we continue to grow together, become better for each other, and learn how to love each other more deeply as the years go by.
I want K to be my forever partner.
I want to build a life with him. I want to have a home with him, build a family with him, and experience all the ordinary and extraordinary things that life has to offer together. I want to look back someday and remember that it all started with two people who were just randomly replying to each other’s Instagram stories.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I sincerely hope that ten years from now, or even twenty, we’ll still be this way still choosing each other, still laughing together, still making each other feel loved, and still coming home to each other after every difficult day.
I am so grateful that out of all the people I could have met, somehow, I met you.
And out of all the people I could have loved, somehow, I ended up loving you.
Maybe we really did have to meet other people first. Maybe we had to get lost, explore, and get our hearts broken before we could finally find each other. And if that was the price we had to pay to end up here, then I think it was worth it.
Thank you for being certain about me when I had so many reasons to be afraid.
Thank you for being patient with me.
Thank you for choosing me, consistently.
And most of all, thank you for making me believe that maybe, just maybe, love can be this peaceful, this intentional, and this certain.
I love you, K. And if I had to live through every heartbreak all over again just to find you at the end of it, I would.
Every single time.
Because if you were the prize waiting for me at the end of it all, I’d choose the journey all over again.