u/askskfalksfakslfsfa

Last time I went to go visit my family in NYC (I live in China and have been for about 15 years), literally within an hour of arriving there some crazy dude yelled at me and my cousin on the street, calling us the f-word.

Almost every time I go back, I get more intense random encounters with insane people in a month than I do years in China, like my wife would randomly get approached by clearly schizophrenic or weird white men, like one picked a random flower from the street and gave it to her, and it made her so uncomfortable to the point that she just doesn't want to go back. Ours lives, while simpler and humbler here, are just so much less stressful. There are problems, like in any place, but ironically the worst people in my wife's family are all trying to go abroad while the normal ones are perfectly happy here.

I asked my cousin (who is mid to late 30's and still unmarried) why he liked America compared to China, after I told him that in China I never have to worry about this. He goes, "but at least in America I can draw a picture of Trump sucking his own dick if I wanted to." And I asked him, is that worth being assaulted by schizophrenics on the street? I also wanted to add "worth not getting women at all" but I didn't want to hurt him.

Anyways a few years later his mom visited me in Shenzhen and all she did was talk shit about China, Chinese people, I even pointed out an advertisement with Liu Yifei on it (who grew up in NYC but moved back to China), and she made a snide comment about plastic surgery even though I literally went to school with her in Queens and she wasn't even the prettiest Asian girl there. Recently we bought a home in China, a really beautiful duplex, and my family kept asking for photos and trying to compare it to their wooden properties in America and it was just so obviously trying to find any excuse to call it "shoddy Chinese construction" or look for flaws in it.

I feel like these people are so obsessed with trying to prove they're better than other Chinese people that they just completely turn a blind eye to racism and terrible things just to get a leg up on other Chinese. Past a point it's just literally insane behavior and there's no reasoning with it.

Edit: I forgot to mention when we were there diaspora was mad hostile to us, some Taiwanese shopkeeper literally refused to talk to us because he assumed we were mainland. Fuck these people

I'm fascinated by the prison system so I like games about simulating and managing those conditions, what are some good options for games like this? Generally non sci-fi, non-fantasy and more real world, but if there are good ones in sci-fi, etc., I'll take em

I think people need to stop the cap. The reason there are so many half Asians that come in and try to shout down half Asians who complain about racism and self-loathing, is because they're white passing, period.

I was in a barber in China last night and this other Eurasian guy came in and while I could tell he was Eurasian the Chinese staff could not, so they spoke English to him. Meanwhile with me, they just spoke Mandarin to me. Also I could tell he genuinely just thought I was a local guy as well. So on top of Chinese natives not being able to tell, there's other half Asians who can't even tell that people are mixed with white.

While an innocuous interaction, it just proves that there's basically a "hierarchy" of half Asians where ones who present as Asian get no benefit of the doubt for being white passing and have to live our lives as Asian people and all that comes with it, including racism, bullying, microaggressions, etc. Some of us just genuinely "present" to the world as Asian and have entirely different life experiences from people who look more mixed or non-Asian.

I feel like the one takeaway I get from being mixed race, over my entire life, is that I just feel about everything: "why would you even say or do that?" just over and over and over and over again.

It's like my self hating Asian aunts came to visit my wife and I in China, and whenever they see me it's always the same "you're so tall" thing even though they've been to Beijing and I'm average height here and I see two dozen women a day taller than me.

And then I just was making conversation about this Chinese movie star on an ad, who went to middle school with me in NYC, and her first response is "did she get surgery to look like that?"

I've had "friends" who would brag about how many Asian girls they slept with, then at the same time tell me that I "blended in" with other Asians and looks Asian at certain angles and it's always just making fun of me.

I met an Asian girl once who told me the only way I would get laid was going back to China, just completely unprovoked.

I have self hating Asian family that told me I should just "walk around China like I own the place" even though Chinese people generally can't even tell I'm non Chinese from a distance. A cop once stopped me for my ID once and was 2 feet in front of me and couldn't believe I had a US passport and wasn't a national.

I know it sounds super sensitive, but this is just from lifelong needling in me now that I literally don't trust a single soul around.

And please don't suggest therapy, I don't need therapy to understand people are trash, and it's not going to help me "move on" from people being trash, because they're still trash and my mindset won't change that.

At very least, black, Indian and Arab folk are always kind to me about this, but guess who is enemy number one of the white-Asian alliance? You guessed it - POC.

Anyone feel a sense of awkwardness being caught up in Asian peoples' obsession with white people? It's like seeing this perpetual online fetishization of white men and women and this obsession with mixed babies and in real life nobody cares because I look too Asian or at least Central Asian / low status.

I feel like when people imagine a half Asian they just imagine a brown haired white guy with Mediterranean features.

On top of that I feel like other half Asians out there always look at me like "hey another product of whatever my parents dynamic was" and I want them to just leave me alone.

I did time having to deal with open racism against Asians and I genuinely do not want to be involved in any of this.

The worst part is that people just look for what they want to see. Asian people look at me and say "oh wow another Asian person," but self hating Asians always seem disappointed that I look more on the Asian side, and then on top of that not once in my entire life was I called a cute mixed baby or gotten a tiny fraction of the glaze people throw on 'Wasians' online.

Go search any video involving a BTS member named RM. Read the comments.

I have similar bone structure to him and since I was 11-12 I've had women calling me hot to my face and have never once lifted a finger to impress a woman or ask them out. Absolutely nothing to the point that if I wrote all the things women have said and done people would just assume I'm lying.