u/asophia01

i’ve had my migraine for 2.5 months straight so my headache specialist is still between status migraine and ndph, for those of you who have suffered with this for years, forgive me for this rant and know that i understand you have dealt with this for much longer.

my migraine started only 2 weeks after i finally closed the distance with my bf and moved to his state right after i finished nursing school. i was in an accelerated program that i started a week after finishing undergrad. i worked part time throughout all of my schooling more than i should have to afford it, i was first generation. i worked SO hard. too hard which is part of what i think caused my headache. before my 5 years of pushing to get where i am today, i grew up in an abusive household and i got out by a hair through my own strength. i also suffered debilitating ocd that i worked so hard to make bearable. i have worked my entire life to enjoy my life and i finally got to where i’ve been waiting for and i only got to enjoy it for TWO weeks.

now, i am in pain 24/7, with awful light and noise sensitivity, cannot think about anything else, had to push back the start date of my dream job as a night shift l&d nurse which im now not sure if ill be able to do/how i will pay my loans back if not, my boyfriend is truly struggling with supporting me and watching me suffer and it is weighing on him heavily and im so scared i am gonna become too much for him to handle. i don’t know what to do anymore. everyone around me is telling me im going to get better soon because ‘i have to’. it doesn’t make any sense to me. i don’t think they can accept the reality that this headache and light and noise sensitivity might last a very long time. i am the only one trying to accept it and live how i can. i feel so exhausted and isolated. all of this while in constant pain and trying to push myself to do a little more every day to expose myself to the pain so it doesn’t stop my life. i’m so tired. i just want it to get better.

i’ve had my headache for 2.5 months so my headache specialist is still between status migraine and ndph, for those of you who have suffered with this for years, forgive me for this rant and know that i understand you have dealt with this for much longer.

my headache started only 2 weeks after i finally closed the distance with my bf and moved to his state right after i finished nursing school. i was in an accelerated program that i started a week after finishing undergrad. i worked part time throughout all of my schooling more than i should have to afford it, i was first generation. i worked SO hard. too hard which is part of what i think caused my headache. before my 5 years of pushing to get where i am today, i grew up in an abusive household and i got out by a hair through my own strength. i also suffered debilitating ocd that i worked so hard to make bearable. i have worked my entire life to enjoy my life and i finally got to where i’ve been waiting for and i only got to enjoy it for TWO weeks.

now, i am in pain 24/7, cannot think about anything else, had to push back the start date of my dream job as a night shift l&d nurse which im now not sure if ill be able to do/how i will pay my loans back if not, my boyfriend is truly struggling with supporting me and watching me suffer and it is weighing on him heavily and im so scared i am gonna become too much for him to handle. i don’t know what to do anymore. everyone around me is telling me im going to get better soon because ‘i have to’. it doesn’t make any sense to me. i don’t think they can accept the reality that this headache and light and noise sensitivity might last a very long time. i am the only one trying to accept it and live how i can. i feel so exhausted and isolated. all of this while in constant pain and trying to push myself to do a little more every day to expose myself to the pain so it doesn’t stop my life. i’m so tired. i just want it to get better.

hi everyone, i hope you are having a low pain day today 💓

i am only 2.5 months into my headache, so my headache specialist is still unsure whether this is status migrainosus or ndph, but i have failed many of the traditional migraine remedies and botox is the next step in september. i have been living my life on pause because of the pain and waiting for it to go away, but i am supposed to return to work in october and i am becoming extremely depressed by staying at home all day.

so i was wondering, are you all able to distract from your pain? i have been struggling to not think about it even for a few seconds. it has been on my mind non stop since it has started. it certainly doesn’t help that i have ocd and therefore obsess over topics but i truly find it so hard not to think about the physical pain that is there. i have been reading ‘the way out’ to try to do pain reprocessing therapy but it doesn’t really discuss this issue and i figure thinking about it nonstop is certainly making it worse. i also am wondering what keeps you going? i don’t mean to offend anyone at all but im sure you guys have had these thoughts.. but sometimes i wonder what the point is if i am going to be in this pain for a long long time.. what am i working towards? why bother trying to build my tolerance for things when i feel i haven’t experienced true joy since this started? right now i feel i am living for my family and my bf but i need to live for myself.

thanks for listening, i wish you all the absolute best in life 💐🩷