u/ausernamebyany_other

Frens, I need help. It's my birfday. I 13. Speshul birfday as teenager now.

But meowmies not plan propalee to gib propa reverance to the okayshun. They forgot tu mayk the binmen not come steel ma bins today. I lyk hiding behind them so no one see me and try talk to me when outside. Hoomans dum. Bin men loud and stompy and move all ova and tayk my emotional support bin strategic camouflage away.

ON MAI BIRFDAY!

Dis not okay. Wut are gud teenage crimez tu du to punish meowmies fur not planning birfday better? I never been 13 before so don't know gud teenage crimez yet.

Pic is me plotting demise of bin men. And maybe meowmy for stoopid hat.

- Hermes the dignified void

Frens, I need halp. How yu soo hooman yu ritefully avoid?

I lyk outside grass. It's tastee, has sun patches, and wen I rollz around in it I mayk favrite meowmy go achoo!

But neybor tall man. Dat is scary. I dun lyk tall. I dun lyk mans. (Girl Power!) He also hab macheen dat sound lyk manee greebles trapped in blenda dat takes mai grass away! Not fair. Not rite. I need soo.

How do I soo wen ebry tym I seez neybor human I must do strategic retreat? Can I mayk meowmy du it fur me? Dus dat count? Or doo I jus soo meowmy fur not stopping dis hole sityouashun?

Pikshur me tinking so hard bout soo I need close mai ais.

- Hermes the dignified void