u/awsomesauceyo

I understand that pmdd affects her and she suffers as much as the next person, but the words that attack my character hurt me so much and it’s so hard to look past that. It’s like she doesn’t even respect me anymore when she calls me insecure or a burden. Then towards the end of the 2+ hour long argument, she’ll backtrack completely and send me paragraphs apologizing, and I seem to forgive so easily. It’s like my brain forgets everything that hurt me. But this happens every single month like clockwork, and it’s making me forget who I even am. It’s making me lose my individuality and I’m so scared

For context, we don’t live together so I drive an hour to see her so I can’t really just leave or greyrock. A couple days ago, we had a whole date planned, and when she got in my car, I could already tell the pmdd was affecting. I felt my entire body and my throat tense up, I got so scared and anxious. I tried so hard to act normal but I guess she caught on. She asked me in the restaurant why I was acting weird, but I didn’t want to say I was nervous so we wouldn’t cause a scene in the restaurant. We got in the car and I could already tell something was about to happen. She completely went off on me telling me I’m unreliable and how I don’t support or take care of her. She started crying and having a panic attack, I tried so hard to comfort her but it made everything worse. We argued for almost 4 hours in the car completely ruining what we had planned, I was so stressed out and overwhelmed I just completely shut down. I don’t understand why, but I just felt my emotions and body just shut down completely. My face went numb and I couldn’t manage to get any words out. This only made things 10x worse. I feel like I’m not mature enough to handle pmdd, am I just a bad partner? I really don’t know what to do anymore. I never wanted any of this. After every pmdd episode, she wipes my existence off all her social media pages and acts like nothing happened a week later

About 2.5 months ago, me and my gf were going through a very rough time after an argument and out of nowhere she asked me if I watched porn. I panicked and said no and that I haven’t watched it since high school out of fear of hurting her again, which was not true as I’ve been watching it about 3-4x a week since we see each other about once a week. Since remembering the lie last month, I’ve been waking up with constant guilt and anxiety and it’s eating me alive. I’ve quit watching and masterbating since then and I have no desire for it anymore. My therapist told me to just not say anything unless it’s brought again and to keep abstaining going forward, and confessing would mainly relive my own guilt. I mainly want to confess because it seems so disgusting and manipulative to withhold information like that from her because it feels like I’m leading her with a potential boundary that she’ll probably think is a deal breaker. There was never a boundary mentioned but she has told me how she doesn’t like it. But she’s going through a very depressing time in her life right now and I don’t want to dump any more horrible news right now, but at the same time I don’t want to keep leading her on. I love her so much but I’m so scared and anxious. I’ve been in therapy for my compulsive lying for 3 months now and I’m getting better each day, but the price of that came with intense guilt with each lie I remember

My gf suffers from pmdds and it’s exhausting me so badly. She’ll be hypercritical or read my tone the wrong way and starts huge arguments over it. If I try to defend myself in the smallest bit, she’d call me mean and narcissistic for not comforting her when she expresses she’s upset. I’ve started to put the idea in my head that’s all my fault no matter how I look at it. I love her badly and I do want this to work, but it’s killing my mental health every day. Does it ever get better?

Hey guys, my local record store has 3 of these cds for $30 and I was wondering if this a good price for them or can I get it cheaper somewhere else? Thanks