u/aylinxx99

I want to feel loved, but I don’t know if my boyfriend can give me what I need

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years, and lately I’ve been feeling really lonely in our relationship.

I know he loves me, and he does show it in his own ways, but I don’t really feel loved anymore. I think I want to be loved more loudly. I want to feel wanted, important, cared for and needed. I want affection, reassurance, little gestures, and that feeling of “I really matter to you.” I want to feel like my partner genuinely wants to be close to me, not just that we’re together because we’ve been together for a while.

The problem is that he isn’t really like that. He has his own ways of showing love, and I appreciate them, but they don’t seem to fill that need in me. I keep feeling like something is missing.

I also have attachment issues, so I know I can crave reassurance and closeness more than other people might. Sometimes I wonder if I’m asking for too much or if I’m simply not getting the kind of love and affection that I personally need.

I don’t want him to constantly have to reassure me or feel like he’s failing as a boyfriend. But at the same time, I don’t want to keep convincing myself that I’m okay with less affection when I’m clearly not.

I also don’t have friends anymore, so he’s basically the only person I have. That probably makes my attachment to him even stronger.

How do you figure out whether you need to work on your own attachment issues or whether your partner genuinely isn’t giving you the kind of affection you need?

And is it possible to love someone deeply but still not feel loved by them?

My soul feels lonely, even when I'm not alone

There’s a deep loneliness inside me that I can’t seem to fill, and lately it’s been getting really bad.

I notice it a lot at my new job. I recently started working again after about a year of being unable to because of depression and anxiety. I work in a small shop where it’s usually just two people working together. Even though I’m literally not alone, I often feel incredibly lonely while I’m there.

I’ll be doing something completely normal and suddenly feel this sadness and emptiness. It makes everything feel pointless. I start wondering what I’m even doing all of this for.

I have a boyfriend who I’ve been with for 1.5 years, and for a long time he seemed to fill that loneliness. But for about half a year now, something has changed. He still loves me and tries to help me, but I still feel incredibly alone inside.

I don’t really have friends anymore. I lost contact with them a while ago, and honestly, I don’t currently have the mental energy to go out and make new ones. I met my boyfriend during a time when I was also very lonely, so I think I became extremely attached to him because he was the person who made me feel less alone.

Now I’m scared that I’ve somehow built my entire emotional world around one person.

I don’t even know exactly what I’m missing. I just know that I want to feel connected to something. I want to feel like my life has meaning and that I’m not just going through the motions every day.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of loneliness? Not just being physically alone, but feeling lonely even when someone you love is right there?

How did you deal with it? How do you start filling that emptiness without expecting another person to do it for you?

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar.

I'm struggling with depression and pretty bad social anxiety, and I honestly don't know what the best thing to do is.

I'm very attached to my boyfriend, and I don't really have any friends or a support system outside of him. I know that's not healthy, but it's where I'm at right now.

One of his best friends wants to come stay at our place for a weekend. The problem is that the thought of that makes me incredibly anxious. I've never even spoken to him before. I hate the idea of not feeling comfortable in my own home. My body is covered in scars, so I usually dress however I feel comfortable at home, and I feel like I'd have to constantly cover up and be aware of another person being there. I'd probably end up hiding in one room because of my social anxiety.

The second option is that my boyfriend goes to visit his friend alone for the weekend. But then I'd be completely alone for two days. I'm already alone most of the day while he's at work, and weekends are usually the time we spend together. Because of my depression and how attached I've become to him, the idea of being alone for an entire weekend makes me feel anxious and abandoned.

The third option is that we both go to his friend's place. That also feels awkward because I'd be in someone else's home, and they both speak French while I don't. His friend speaks some English, but not enough that I'd feel comfortable. I'm worried I'd just sit there feeling out of place while they mostly talk to each other.

So every option feels awful:

1. His best friend comes here, and I'm anxious in my own home.

2. My boyfriend goes alone, and I'm alone all weekend feeling abandoned.

3. We both go, and I feel awkward and anxious somewhere unfamiliar.

If you were in my position, what would you do? I'd really appreciate advice, especially since I can't really talk to anyone about this.

I feel like every day is exactly the same, and I don't know how to break the cycle.

For almost a year now, I've barely left the house because of depression and anxiety. I don't have a job at the moment, so there isn't really anything forcing me to get out or stick to a routine.

Every day feels identical. I wake up, scroll on my phone, try to distract myself, go to bed, and then repeat it all over again. Weeks go by without anything changing. It honestly feels like I'm going crazy because nothing ever happens.

I'm trying to apply for jobs, but it's hard to stay motivated when every rejection makes me feel even more stuck. I know staying inside all the time isn't helping, but I also struggle to find the energy or reason to go out.

Has anyone else been stuck in this kind of cycle? What actually helped you break out of it? I'm not looking for miracles, I'd just like to hear what made a real difference for people who were in a similar situation.