I make good money, but my job makes me miserable and i'm self employed
I've been reading posts in the sub today and i couldn't find one similar to my position. I'm a 27 year old artist, although i have a decent social media presence, music is not paying my bills yet so i rely financially on my job as an independent realtor.
I started in 2023 and for some reason it went really well, made a lot of money, i was good at it and received constant validation from colleagues. However, it always made me extremely unhappy, my creative side suffered, i felt numb most of the time, the environment and people in the industry are also extremely uninspiring. I even stopped going to conventions and industry events because i literally had a panic attack the last time i went to one because of how miserable it made me feel. When i meet new people i introduce myself as an artist, but sometimes people recognize me as a realtor (I have a popular tik tok account for my realtor stuff) and i feel so ashamed. I hate having the "realtor" tag attached to myself, to my identity, i hate that part of my life, but i kept going because i make good money and i can use that money to fund my music related projects.
On november 2025 a client asked me to manage his properties/tenants for a monthly fee. I've managed properties before so it wasn't a big deal. The monthly fee covers about 50% of my monthly expenses so i slowed down on my realtor side for a while and never been happier. A month ago i said to myself that i needed to make more money to keep funding my music projects and i resumed my realtor duties, but i can't do it anymore. I stare at my laptop for minutes without generating a single thought, seems like my brain goes out of my head every time i try to work. I tell myself "do it for the music", "you've got bills to pay", "you need the money", but i just can't do it, it's extremely frustrating.
I'd love to have another kind of job, something within media or creative industries, but i can't really afford money-wise and time-wise a career change right now. Although i much rather have a fulfilling job/life before a full wallet, the reality is i have bills to pay, rent, food, credit cards, projects to fund. Quitting being a realtor would mean a big restructuring moment in my life that sadly can't go through with right now.