u/babysharkbbbb

Hi everyone,

My mother-in-law is currently in the process of being diagnosed with what looks like extensive abdominal cancer. The primary source is still unknown. During a recent laparoscopy, the surgeon said the disease appears to be spread across multiple organs, and the prognosis is very poor. We are now waiting for biopsy results and will find out whether she might be eligible for palliative chemotherapy.

My husband is her only child. We live on the other side of the world, so he has flown back to be with her, while I stayed home with our two young children (a 5-year-old and a 3-month-old).

I’m finding this situation incredibly hard. I’m trying to care for both kids on my own, including the sleepless nights with a baby, while also processing the emotional weight of what is happening to her and supporting my husband from afar.

I’m very worried about what the coming weeks and months will look like. I don’t know how fast things may progress, whether we will need to travel soon with the children, and how to navigate everything logistically and emotionally. I’m also struggling with the uncertainty around my baby’s vaccinations and timing for travel. I am scared of flying with the baby when they are not vaccinated especially for measles and I am worried I will have a lifetime of regret if they catch anything, but also I would regret if I wouldn't be there for MIL.

On top of that, I feel a lot of fear about my mother-in-law’s suffering, how she will experience this, and how my husband will cope as her only close family.

I’m trying to stay strong for my kids, but I find it very difficult to regulate my emotions when new updates come in. We do have some support from friends, but day-to-day I’m mostly on my own with the children and my thoughts.

I guess I’m looking for some support, encouragement, or hearing from others who have been through something similar—especially those dealing with serious illness in a parent while living far away and managing small children.

Thank you for reading.

Hi everyone,

I’m posting because my family is going through a very sudden and overwhelming situation and I’m trying to understand what to expect.

My mother-in-law recently had a diagnostic laparoscopy, and during the procedure the surgeon found widespread disease. We were told there are lesions involving the peritoneum/abdomen, liver, small intestine, and possibly lungs. Because of how extensive it is, they said surgery is not possible.

We are currently waiting for biopsy results to understand the primary source and whether any targeted treatment is possible. The current discussion has been that treatment would likely be palliative chemotherapy, if she is fit for it.

Everything happened very quickly and we are still processing it. I’m trying to understand:

- In cases like this, how often does chemotherapy meaningfully slow progression or improve quality of life?

- Is it common for the primary tumor to still be unclear at this stage?

- Are there any genetic tests or targeted treatments that are typically considered in widespread disease like this?

- What should we realistically prepare for in the coming weeks/months?

I know every case is different, but any insight from people who have been through similar situations or professionals would really help us right now.

Thank you for reading.

Ps: I used chatgpt to formulate this text as I am too overwhelmed.

After getting some bad news from our home country, my husband had to leave abruptly to take care of his mum who is gravelly ill. I find myself needing to solo parent both my kids for at least two weeks but possibly even more.

I don't want people telling me that it is hard and I can't do it (like some would just urge me to go with him), I am super stressed. I know rationally that I can take care of both, but with the anxiety of what my mother in law is going through and having a small baby, I feel like I am about to crack.

I don't know what I am looking for, to just vent or encouragement? I am very scared if I get sick even with just a cold and I can't take care of the kids, or if we need to go to hospital for some emergency what do I do with both? Sorry for the rant, I don't know what to do or feel at the moment.

Soacra mea (66 ani) este in proces de diagnosticare cu cancer, initial era suspecta de ceva forma ginecologica, dar in urma unui consult cu un ginecolog oncolog, se suspecteaza si alta cauza primara.

Avand doar CT si RMN pelvin, i s-a spus sa faca si RMN abdominal/la torace, dar nu stim care ar fi urmatorii pasi.

A mai fost cineva in aceasta situatie, cand a fost mai dificil sa se gaseasca tumoarea primara de unde a originat?

Noi nu locuim in Romania si nu avem experienta cu sistemul in sensul acesta, cine ar trebui sa gestioneze tot cazul? Un oncolog, chirurg (si ce specializare atunci cand nu se stie exact sursa primara), e mai bine sa mearga la Institutul oncologic de langa Fundeni, sau la o clinica privata (Neolife, Baneasa Tumor Centre)?

Am vazut si recomandari pentru a folosi navigatori de pacienti. Victoria Asanache in mod special, dar cat de usor se ajunge la dansa si e posibil ca dumneaei sa recomande doar din cadrul Royal Hospital sau face un "traseu" cu specialisti din diverse spitale in functie de nevoie?

Multumesc.

Due to some unforeseen bad news we’ve received from overseas, I may need to travel to Europe with my now 9-week-old baby and my 5-year-old.

I’m mostly worried about my newborn. She may need to do some immunisations while we are in Europe, and I’m not sure how that works across different countries and schedules.

Has anyone gone through something similar?

How did you manage vaccinations while travelling or living overseas temporarily with a young baby?

Did your GP allow early administration of the 4-month vaccines (for example at 10–11 weeks) if needed for travel?

How did you handle long-distance travel with such a young baby?

Any practical tips for flying and managing day-to-day life with a newborn + older child?

I’d also really appreciate advice on practical baby gear while overseas. For example:

Did you purchase a car seat locally or travel with one?

Is it safe/recommended to buy a travel cot in Europe for a baby to sleep in, since I can’t realistically bring a bassinet with me?

Any other baby essentials you found you needed to buy once you arrived?

With my first child, we first flew when he was around 8 months old and I didn’t find it too difficult. But this time I’m more anxious, mainly due to health concerns — especially measles outbreaks in parts of Europe, and the fact that my baby can’t get the MMR vaccine until at least 12 months (or earlier in some cases only from 6 months for travel guidance).

My mind is a bit scrambled due to the situation, sleep deprivation, and anxiety around potentially needing to do this trip quite suddenly.

Any advice or shared experiences would really help. Thank you.