Bf lets ex emotionally highjack him
Hi. I need your opinion. I feel im secure enough in myself to handle a relationship with a man that has an ex in his life for his son. Although, I have felt there has been a pattern for years with him appeasing her for the sake of "keeping the peace" with not having boundaries with her to protect our relationship.
This has caused my nervous system to be in distress anytime I have to be at events with her. I am just realizing this now. Its not just the ex being there. Its the boundaries or lack of.
Ive been expressing myself for years concerning certain behaviors but couldnt pinpoint what was actually happening when it came to the ex.
Like she has been known to stalk his Instagram but he doesnt say anything nor offers to block her. He just says. I should have and will say something if it happens again.
When approaching the situation of the party, I was given the "its for the child" reason for his lack of boundaries with the ex at social events for his son.
Example. Ex talking about child mental health at the sons bday party and she leans and whispers in his ear in front of me. Not only was the convo at an inappropriate time but her lack of respect to me and his lack of putting any boundaries to her is extremely upsetting. It shows me he would rather comfort her than put up any boundaries.
I really feel like I am being made to feel crazy.
He told me he didnt purposely ignore me at the party for her. I wasnt feeling well on our way to the party and we bickering abit over where to stop for coffee ect.
To conclude, I know it all might not sound like much but it feels like hes not willing to protect me and the relationship over her being upset ect.
How would you feel ? What boundaries would you put in place going forward for your bf?