u/beat_the_level

I had OCD since I was a teen and it has evolved. I'm fine with a bit of OCD of washing my hands to a point but this is beyond washing hands as it's disrupting a simple task.

 

What I've learned is OCD and Anxiety go together and create false scenarios like if you don't/do X, then Y will happen.

 

Let me get more indepth on my mental health as I created a superstition on myself and if something goes wrong it actually impacts it...

 

With washing of the hands, I do a specific pattern with soap and washing, 1234, 1234, 1234, 1234, 12345.....1234, 1234, 1234, 1234, 12345........ 1234, 12345, 1234, 12345, 12345....... 1234, 12345. I make a huge water mess in bathrooms... it also doesn't help when soap dispensers are far from the sink or automatic than manual. I like manual more.

 

But if I get a negative thought, I have to start over from a checkpoint. The negative thought will cause bad luck or something bad happening. I tried to just go cold turkey on January 1st and not even hours later something bad happened just trying to overcome it...

 

When I'm doing a work task and have a thought (which happens every second) i have to undo the task. I get so frustrated I hit my head just to stop the thoughts.

 

Thing is, I know what my OCD is about, I know how to stop it but fighting with your brain, you know it's a hard battle.

 

I find OCD so stupid... like, I already know it's just thoughts and feelings and how to overcome it. Therapy wouldn't help me cause I already know the stupid logic. I know it's a stress trigger and drives me crazy.

 

I forget if I mentioned this but it evolved when I felt like it was failing at life.

Omg, this guy makes cyclist look bad you dumb shit!!!

 

So, let me explain myself. I ride in an area in which has no bike lanes (shared roads, many times no shoulder) so when going at a green light with cars everyone goes at the same time and it's either go when they go and hope they don't corner me into something where I don't feel safe cause they don't give enough space to ride safely. Doesn't even matter if you're super visible with flashy lights (Although, I never used police lights yet to test this).

 

But after riding for a long time, I started to treat red lights as stop signs. If I can see that I have a full clearance, I can give myself a few seconds boost so I can get slightly ahead of traffic so that way it gives me more time to get out of harms way and possible have a shoulder to ride on.

 

I tend to do way less when I have a shoulder already but I also have to watch out for cars turning right when I'm going straight and they feel like they get the right away cause they are in a car.

 

If you lived in my area and did my routes, you'll understand too how much this makes more sense. I used to follow the rules but after realizing how people in cars act in my area, it's better to bend the rules than to follow them.

I believe this was near the Poconos but not sure as we went there on the way home. I haven't been to the Poconos in over 25 years and I remember going to a mini golf course in which has a shark (maybe a pirate ship).

  

I played there twice in my life. It might not be in the Poconos itself cause we went there on the way home.

I haven't been to the Poconos in over 25 years and I remember going to a mini golf course in which has a shark (maybe a pirate ship).

 

I played there twice in my life. It might not be in the Poconos itself cause we went there on the way home.

So, it's been 8 years since I've built a pc and I'm out of the loop for what's good. Last time users called my parts overkill since I like having a lot of ram. I do more than gaming on my PC, I also do video editing and my current pc really struggles at 4k editing so I do mainly 1080p and it's starting to take longer to do that.

I was looking to build a whole new PC and seems like many things got quite expensive but I knew about that before jumping into it.

Of course I want to edit 4k with this new PC but also want to be able to game in 4k and future proof my computer for years to come so I'm hoping I can edit 8k, stream at high quality and make this pc last for a while.

Right now this is what I'm thinking. (Removed)
Edit: The new list https://pcpartpicker.com/list/Thk4n2

I wanted the 5090 but the price is so high, I'm thinking maybe the 5080 will be ok at half the price. (currently using a 2080 GPU)

I also might change the storage as I want at least 6-8 TB of storage.

I'm hoping to keep it under $5000.