How do I always get it wrong?
How do I always mess up even the simplest of potential interactions? How do I always be the Odd One, or the one others assume is Trying Too Hard? I don’t post much, I don’t put myself out there online in literally any way for fear that I’ll somehow Get it Wrong, despite every effort to thwart the inevitable result.
I have a lot of trouble remembering to eat, especially on adderall. When I do eat, I love to have fun with it. I have several meals photographed on my phone for potential posts on Charcuterie subs or the sub above, because frankly I think I make some pretty bomb spreads.
I finally got up the nerve, because I thought that the cosmic brownie bar and the simplism of a granola bar and turkey and cheese was delightfully fitting for that sub. But this is exactly why I have been so hesitant to make any posts. NTs will literally jump you like they’ve been waiting for you to show up and misstep. It’s infuriating.
Yes I know I could’ve said I have adhd and wasn’t glamorizing not eating. Should I have to, though? I know I could’ve had a different title, I just (apparently stupidly) thought I could be accurate and highlight why I was focusing on protein.
It’s no big deal, the screenshotted post. I know that. It’s the internet and people here are notoriously fickle and petty. But it’s the motif of it. It’s the reminder that no matter how hard I try, no matter how trivial the situation, no matter where I go, I can’t Do Anything the Right Way. And I’m so sick of feeling so ostracized and alone, you guys. I’m so sick of it.