u/beefmystery

Diagnosed with OCD. I constantly feel the urge to start my life over, and it spills into almost everything I do.

I’ll want to start a YouTube channel, then suddenly think, “No, scrap it. I should quit the one I started last week and make a completely new one with a fresh identity.”

If I’ve lived somewhere too long, I start thinking about packing my bags, disappearing, and rebuilding my life somewhere else. Even in marriage, my brain constantly pushes the “escape and restart” button.

I avoid getting attached to too many possessions because part of me is always preparing for the possibility of leaving and starting over from scratch.

I once left a girlfriend who genuinely loved me just to completely change my life and move across the country.

Even small things show up in weird ways. I’ll open food — especially something in the fridge — and by the next day it no longer feels “fresh” or untouched to me, so I end up throwing it away even when it’s still perfectly fine.

And underneath all of it is this constant urge to leave, explore the world, reinvent myself, and become someone new again