Love a good chilaquiles but outside of Mexico I rarely think to eat it! I went to an amazing authentic spot in NYC when I visited last summer. What are some Montreal spots that do it justice?
A few months ago, one of my close friends started sleeping with a married man with kids.
His wife found out and my friend said she would have to pull back because she was getting feelings. Now he’s separating, selling the house, figuring out where to live, etc. My friend and him are openly together and completely wrapped up in each other.
I think what’s messing with my head is how fast the tone shifted from “this is messy and wrong” to basically acting like they’re just a normal couple. Trips together, spending all their time together, openly affectionate in front of people who know the situation.
I know relationships are complicated and people leave marriages for all kinds of reasons, but I can't find it in me to get on board with this relationship that's being framed as a romantic love story while there’s still a family dealing with the fallout.
It just seems like such a mess and I can't believe she's gotten wrapped up in it. I can't help but think there are so many aspects of the situation she hasn't thought through, like the fact that the divorce will likely take years, potential custody battle, becoming a stepmother to children who might resent her, having to navigate life with the ex wife forever. The whole thing kind of makes me feel sick.
I’m struggling with how to show up for a close friend right now.
She recently got involved with a man who is married (11+ years, two young kids). They met through a shared activity they’re both really passionate about. She said she always thought he was nice but he was never on her radar as a romantic prospect. One night they met up and had some drinks and one thing led to another.
It wasn't long before his wife found out.
He’s now “separating,” they’re selling their house, and from what I understand, he doesn’t really have a stable place to live yet. He's been couch surfing and crashing where he can, even sleeping at the space where they do this shared activity.
What’s been hard for me is how quickly things have shifted. As soon as he said he was leaving his wife, they basically became a couple openly, in the same community where people know he was married. They also travel together for this activity and can be away for weeks at a time, which adds this almost romantic/intense bubble around the whole thing.
I think that’s part of what’s throwing me. It feels a bit like a heightened, almost escapist version of a relationship, while in the background there’s a very real situation involving a long-term partner and kids. I find myself having a hard time reconciling those two things.
If I’m being honest, I also feel uncomfortable with some of his behavior. I don’t fully understand how someone can leave a partner of over a decade and young children and then be away for extended periods so soon after. I know I’m only seeing part of the picture, but it’s hard not to question what that says about him.
On top of that, his wife has been posting publicly about how devastated she is, which makes the situation feel even more real and difficult to ignore.
I care about my friend, but I feel conflicted. I don’t agree with how this started or how it’s playing out, and I’m finding it harder to just listen and be supportive without feeling uncomfortable or a bit complicit.
I’m also wondering, for anyone who’s been in my friend's shoes, did it actually turn into a healthy long-term relationship?