u/bekindbefreebewild

Hi,

So I want to give a little back story here. Im dating a single dad who has weekend visitation with his kids and some week days after work to hang out with them when he likes. He has no written custody agreement with his ex and they don't get along. His younger child doesn't do what the older one does but there very close in age and im afraid of monkey see monkey do plus they do copy each other in other ways so its only a matter of time. I've been in the picture over 2 years now and come from two large family's were im the 3 oldest cousin on both sides so I have helped and watch many a family member raise their children but sometimes I get reminded that I don't have kids of your own (I can't) but i want to see what's best for the kids happen. I love his kids as if they were my own and I would move mountains for them to see them have the best future possible.

I have a few questions for the parents out there regarding a 7 year old (Girl). Is it normal at 7 years old to try and steal things from people always getting caught and saying I was just joking I was going to give it back and ok maybe she was but as far as I can see she's only doing it when we can kinda see but maybe she's doing it more and we don't know is this normal?

Also she's not big on using manners were still working on please and thank you which I get with kids can be hit or miss but we can't just say what do you say or she gets mad and even run away and making crying sounds but no tears. She told us how she wants us to word the manners reminder and if we forget she gets mad and corrects us again is this normal?

Lastly she watches Salish Matters and its not my place but I feel like it's not good for a child that age I can see a lot of behavioral changes since she started watching that but her parents are ok with it so I say nothing.

What should I do, I love the kids so much but talking about this with my boyfriend can make him upset or shut down I don't want to lose him but I also feel its not about me its about what's best for the kids and if i need to have this conversation I will but first i want to see if im over reacting?

Side note kids mom hates me just because so I cant talk to her about this and im just concerned for the older one and want to make sure she is ok

Question for all the parents out there

So im in a relationship with a single dad of two girls 6 and 7 we have been together for a few years now and recently I've noticed some behavioral issues with the children that I find concerning but he says is fine its just there age but I think that's not it at all. Hes just started to work on manners but I know that is something that should be taught at birth or at least in my family it is. There very demanding and when they don't get their way will have a full on melt down with fake crying and he will give in or negotiate with them but I think if you give them a rule to fallow they should but they don't want to so they know that if they have the melt down, run, fake cry and hide he will go after them and give them what they want. They also have been watching some youtube channels that I find inappropriate for their age (Ben Azelert and Salish Matter) and the oldest talks about how she does her makeup every day which I think is kind of strange for a 7 year old and is probably a product of what their watching. They also don't have bedtimes at mom or dads and I think that doesn't help with emotional regulation. One more thing that bothers me is that they get to much phone time like every time were in the car they want to each have a phone to take pictures with make videos or watch youtube and if you say no its a full melt down and if the phones don't go how they want them to its a full on melt down in the car with yelling and crying and that could lead to a car accident. Am I just over reacting or is this a ligate concern. I guess my main concerns are should 6 and 7 year olds be all about makeup and purses and still not know their manners or should this be something of a concern?