u/berrysalad22

Asalamu alaykum, any suggestions? Visiting with my family, including toddlers. JAK

I have been a revert of almost 8 years now and have no desire to be connected to hijab, like almost this anger rage towards it. I have defended hijab and niqab for years, but I am so tired. I have my abayas and hijab and niqab packed away.

I am constantly poked at by family about how it's extreme and even in how it'll affect my child(I have a baby). I was already the black sheep in my family before becoming Muslim. My in laws have been rude about niqab and have even gone as much to try and see my face when they shouldn't(my fil lifted my veil before I was married to my husband). I am at this point no contact with my in-laws and don't forsee that changing. They have lied about me and to me, have been rude and disrespectful and beyond cruel. They have undermined the covenant of marriage and parenthood for their own world gain. My husband has now stepped up for me and our child with my constant pressure, but I feel it's too late and feel either numb or so angry and distraught towards them. There has been too much history for any reconciliation despite me pushing for it intially. I wanted family and harmony, family is something I value so much.

My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years but my hijab is never perfect, he'll point out and get anxious and short with me that an individual strand of hair is showing from my niqab or if I reach to grab a box from a shelf at the store and my wrist is showing he'll get annoyed and ask if someone saw me or if he knew a man was in the aisle, get short and rude with me. He'd get upset if I was near a window because someone could see me. I grew up in the country and I miss the sun on my skin. We've had a lot of issues but are working through them. I haven't crossed one year postpartum. I feel so tired and discouraged.