u/biggreenroof

I switched doctors like 4 months ago after moving house so lost my previous repeat prescription for period pain. Ive had it in the back of my head for 4 months to make an appointment but it's never on my mind when I wake up.

Anyway, finally called today and was told the Dr will give me a call back at some point. I thought it would be a "here's your appointment time" situation. I'm at a conference for half of today so I'm a bit like OH - wish I could book an appointment in advance.

I get why the system exists this way but I feel like it would make sense to have a couple appointments available each day for advanced bookings. I can imagine someone ignoring something non urgent until it gets bad because of this system.

I (27F) have been with my boyfriend "Mark" (29M) for almost three years. Around March, I started journaling. My therapist suggested it, and it's become a big part of how I decompress. I write about work, my family, random thoughts, and yes, sometimes about us.

Last week Mark saw it on my nightstand and asked what I write about. I said "just stuff" and laughed. Then he asked if he could read it.. I said no, it's private.

A few days later he brought it up again, more seriously. He pointed out that I started journaling right around when we had a rough patch in the spring, and said "You're journaling because of me. If it's about our relationship, I have a right to know what you're thinking." I told him that's not true. I started because my therapist suggested it, and it's about my whole life, not just him. He said "Then why can't I read it?"

Here's where I might be the asshole. There IS something in there he wouldn't love. A couple of entries are me working through whether I'm ready to move in together, which he's been pushing for since January. I'm not saying no, I just have doubts I haven't fully sorted out yet, and the journal is where I've been doing that.

When I refused a third time, he said "Well now I KNOW you're hiding something," and has been kind of cold ever since. He told his sister, who texted me that I was being "weirdly secretive for someone in a committed relationship."

My best friend says I'm completely in the right. My mom says I should just talk to him about the move-in stuff so he stops wondering. Now I'm second-guessing myself

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Just to be clear: I'm not asking whether I should show him the journal. I won't, ever. It's mine. What I'm asking is whether I handled this badly. Was it wrong to keep refusing without explaining what I was actually unsure about? Should I have brought up my doubts about moving in before he had to wonder? I'm trying to understand whether my actions made this worse, not whether his request was fair.