u/bishkitts

We don't look ambiguous or like latin/asiatic populations either. Everyone on the globe, maybe excluding some indigenous tribes, knows what black people look like and they certainly know what white people look like. Even if we are lighter or darker, straighter haired or more tightly curled hair, bolder features or more narrow features, we still look clearly between black and white. Yet I notice people keep pushing the idea that we look like other random groups that share no ethnic similarities or claiming they don't know what our ethnicity could be, even though we are one of the most highly visible groups in the world. We are also often able to identify each other as fellow mixed people, even when others may quickly label some of us more towards one side or the other as monoracial. Its clear most people can correctly identify other broad ethnic groupings, but mysteriously people can't seem to figure out that we are 'mixed'. Why do people do this?

One of the things that some people of black and white descent struggle with is being the target of monoracial jealousy. This isn't to say that mixed people can't be jealous of each other, but monoracial jealousy is very different. It has racial undertones and will often be accompanied by comments regarding your mixed appearance or parentage.

For example, when hanging out with friends or in school, you may have people in an imaginary competition with you. They will be very invested in winning this competition and that can translate into behaviors such as negative gossip and alienation, and at worst loud emotional confrontations or physical violence.

People who are jealous will always gaslight you and pretend that they have different motivations for their behavior, especially in front of other people. Sometimes they are unaware of their jealousy and will have convinced themselves that they are not jealous, even though you will have been on the receiving end of their terrible behavior.

Some people may be very good at dealing with this while others of us struggle. For those of you that have overcome this situation, how did you deal with it?

...and multiple black women disagree pointing out that they view themselves as more oppressed for their racial identity than their gender. This dialogue occurred on tiktok btw, but it really had me thinking, because I too believe women are more oppressed due to gender. This is also arguably a questionable point to me, because biracial people (women in this case) can identify as biracial/ mixed/ mulatto or black, so they would be black, too. I notice many of the responses were 'we have it harder' or 'you don't go through what we go through', but it feels like we are always struggling with this lack of empathy from our monoracial counterparts. I can empathize with people across multiple aspects of their identity, yet people view us as privileged, which is a hugely inaccurate value judgment.

In my opinion, the oppression that women face globally is possibly more significant than the oppression people face due to ethnicity.

Please note: I am not claiming all men are oppressors either, as men can experience significant social issues as well due to their gender.

Many of us have struggled with people's perceptions of our skintone starting in childhood. Society's bias OFTEN favors whiteness and that is what many people internalize, although we must be clear that this is not always the case. While some of our families and communities have been more skillful at affirming our varying levels of melanin, unique hair textures, biraciality, and blended cultures, others of us have been left to navigate these dynamics on our own.

In this subreddit, I would like users to examine how they feel about different skin colors and whether we can develop an appreciation for all of the members of the biracial and mixed community in all their skintones. For those of you who have social media pages, please take a moment to feature a range of skin tones, features, and hair textures. Instead of posting 'white presenting people' or lightskin mixed persons with long loose curls, consider posting skintones that are tan and bronze; also people with kinky curls and coily textured hair. This isn't about garnering monoracial peoples approval, but rather embracing the pride of our lineages as a multiethnic people.

Some of us have truly been hurt in our families by discussions about our skintone (i.e. omg s/he is so white/black or are you sure this is your child), or our skintone has been used to belittle other family members creating ongoing conflict and alienation (i.e. s/he is lighter than so-and-so, therefore luckier, more pretty/handsome to others, etc.) and placing a target on our backs. IYKYK

&Yet when we sometimes attempt to discuss skintone dynamics, especially within our families, it will be relegated to a broader war between black&white, completely ignoring the uniqueness of the mixed perspective. We are often not taken seriously for our viewpoints and the discussion becomes about isms and supremacy, again ignoring how we have always been our own group.

Unpacking skintone bias is not an easy task because sometimes it feels ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE 😩 is obsessed with our skintone, but how do we feel about ourselves - are we too dark or too light? Are we just right but frequently made to feel guilty about liking ourselves? Do we constantly make excuses about our skintone to fit in? Do other people consistently bring up how we are too black or white to be viewed as biracial or mixed? Do we regularly hear or participate in harmful jokes, slurs, and banter regarding skin tone? Have we let it all go and unloaded on darker/lighter agitators in a burst of colorized/feature& hair texture based slurs? These are questions we need to start asking ourselves.