u/blahblahblah7722

i made a few decent friends in aa (literally two people i still talk to)

but looking back i was having my head filled with shitty ideas put in it by honestly shitty people who pretty much were just dicks to me

i like being sober, i chose to be sober because its what i wanted to do.

but yeah looking back after being out of aa for a year and a half and not drinking for 6 years, i regret spending so much time with awful people. obviously youll get "resentments" in there.

id like to move on completely someday from even thinking about it, but it feels unresolved,
no one has ever validated my opinions that aa sucks. its such an alone opinion. theres nobody at all i can talk to about the fact i dont like aa. i make youtube vlogs that get zero views. its just an opinion no one cares about or wants to hear

i have a great relationship with someone who doesnt like to hear me trashing aa because her dad is a really bad alcoholic, with an actual narcissism type personality disorder, she would kill for him to do something like go to aa. she shuts me down instantly once i mention or process something about aa, fair enough shes a great partner i can live with her not wanting me to talk about that topic(she said it is too depressing to hear that the only option for peer support is a cult from me)

my uncles a clinical nurse in psychiatric setting, not religious and hes california sober, and he basically told me that saying aa is a cult is an extreme and unbalanced opinion

so i dont know i just wake up at 5am remembering something some aa asshole i spent a lot of time with said to me to get under my skin in there and i dont really know how to get over it. clearly doing inventory over the same people over and over again never did anything otherwise id still be in aa lol.

my point of view on my sobriety(your mileage will vary here) is it is simply doing anything other than drinking or using, and luckily for anyone with a drug problem, this world is FULL of things to do that do not require doing drugs or drinking.

the key is to just be okay not doing something that is essentially self harm despite whatever your mind makes up, then the addiction part of the brain atrophies, and the part engaged in productive activities grows.

i personally wouldnt want to open up the ten lane katy houston i-10 freeway to drug abuse by smoking a little weed or drinking after going without a few years, and its so much simpler without it... so fear mongering about relapse isnt helpful to me

Back in november I sent my canon scoopic to one of the few reputable people in the US to repair it for just a CLA, clean up the stuck zoom on the lens, get the needle fixed, etc. He was recommended to me on the scoopic facebook group.

i paid him his bench fee once i sent him the camera because i was just excited to get my scoopic working.

he told me he would have it done within a few weeks.

Well it is already like mid august of the next year and he leaves me on read for almost every message where im just checking in. theres been a few occasions hes actually replied to me, like telling me it was more involved than he yhought it was, but a few weeks turning into 8 months where he reads my messages and doesnt respond to them for months at a time

he did tell me two months ago it was almost done and he was trying to get the needle straightened out or something, but ive called and sent messages since just asking how much the repair costs and he ignores me.

at this point i just want my camera back, i wake up paranoid ive had my camera stolen or something, but like this guys respected and people seem to speak highly of him, and he has been courteous, when hes decided to respond to me.

just sort of confused, like is this normal? am i completely uncouth here in wanting some sort of response like "hey i didnt scam you i promise"