u/blautraumwelt

Can you believe that bitch?

“Oh my Goddess

Tacky, look at their brain

It's so big”

“They look like

one of those Dad rock guys' girlfriends

But, you know

Who understands those grunge guys?

They only talk to them because

they look like a total librarian, okay”

“I mean their brain

It's just so big

I can't believe it's so articulated

It's like, out there

I mean, it's like soft tofu

Look, there’s so much grey matter”

I like big brains and I cannot lie

You other players can't deny

That when a queen walks in with reading glasses

and a hemispherical cerebellum in your face

I get so nerdy

Wanna crack that spine like a book

'Cause you notice that brain

is stuffed with wisdom

Deep in the grooves of medulla oblongata

I just wanna neural network you til morning

I'm hooked and I can't stop learning

…

Don’t play dumb

Don't sit and look pretty

Who wants to be a trophy

When you can be a wild animal

Scream and shout

Let all your demons out

Underneath your skin

is a world-weary soul

and a brain that won't quit

Turning the world on

and getting me off

on our next literary adventure

Your breast size

is not your brain size

Intelligence is sexy

Nothing kills the mood quicker

than a dicktator

On a dark and stormy night

Clad in something besides underwear

Alone, lights out, phone dead

because of climate crisis

If you ever get chased by a killer

Don’t run up those stairs

Just to get pushed off the roof

Don’t sink to the basement

to get preserved like peaches in formaldehyde

Run to the low rider out front

Engine running and hydraulics flowing

Make the wheels spin and the bass drop

as you run over the freak

then reverse that beast

and speed bump that shit

Fuck beautiful!

Appease me

compliment my brain

They say

that if you get photographed

your soul is stolen

What if your soul was already gone?

Who do you fancy lives in that house?

Human, animal, ghost or emptiness

Just because a house is filled

with people or things

does not mean it’s not empty

Maybe a man and woman

mistakenly assumed to be his wife

Carpenter

works with his hands

Calluses do not feel

touch of the other

Seamstress

Works through thread

but has frayed connections

with the other

Neither is a farmer

Appearances can be deceiving

Having a pitchfork

does not do well for a garden of dust

If they would have been hay farmers

They could have retired by now

Moved south to a beach for the winter

Mother in law’s tongue

wags constantly from the urn

upon the dust filled mantle

above a fire place that no longer works

Beefsteak tomato sandwiches

Rapid eye movement

While glaring at the paisley ass wallpaper

At the kitchen table

Balanced yellow pages

Borrowed pretentiousness

Structural absurdity

Flimsy cardboard frame house

in the middle of anywhere

Hey Cisco, Hey Poncho

whatever happened to Corvair and Fiero?

Rickracked fabric of time

Applied to iron and blood

Steeped in forgotten city of Eldon

Waylaid by the octopus arms of the express way

Acres of green grass turned brown

Old fashion mourning portrait

of once vibrant celebration of life

Revival out back

When tongues of fire

are passed around like candy

Take the Lord’s name in vain

Covet thy neighbors wife

Glutton for the prize winning pie

Nothing a little spiritual cleansing can’t fix

Oh Americana!

Why did they tear you down?

Echoes of children’s laughter

Rolling of the coins

Screams of the eagle

as it bounds another hill

Why did Dixieland stop playing?

Who filled in the sunlight pool?

Close the gates of Coney

Sink the island of dreams

High tech nightmares

Call to the urban jungle

Rumspringa everlasting

Lay your soul to rest

at the neon light funeral

Go your own way!

"If thou here wilt let me stay

Good luck shalt thou have always

But if hence thou wilt me chase

Luck will ne'er come near the place”

“Luck?

Look around damned spirit

Cursed land, cursed witches

is all the eyes can see til Nuremberg”

“Witchfinder General

or that merciless priest

will never cross thy hearth

if you will share your bread and mead with thee”

“Sounds like a deal with the Devil

But what do I have to lose?

Just don’t let slip to my wife

that you will be residing invisibly

or else she will try to

sweep you out with the cat”

…

“…and then we will knock out that wall

Open the floor plan up

remove the wood paneling

tear up the shag carpeting

remove the lattice work

break up the gaudy tile

and repaint it all white and mauve”

That is the last thing

that my contractor spoke

as I told them

“Don’t let the door kick you in the ass!”

Clash of visions

Out with the old

in with the new

is the modern day mantra

Breathe in the dust of yesteryear

Breathe out the wind of change

Progress for the sake of progress

Funny thing though

Door did smack them in the ass

and the gate really did

Take a bite from their khakis

Mental note:

Setup animal sacrifices to the house God

Neck beard curtains

Chain mail link fence

Ring around the rosy doorbells

Artificial grass

with a fake log fire pit

Oh what has the world come to!

“Seems like you could use some help”

Disembodied voice enters the chat

“That depends on whose is offering”

“Well, you did mention something

about a sacrifice”

“What, do you want a Jehovah’s Witness

or the president

of the Home Owner’s Association?”

Deep chuckle vibrates the walls and floors

“Wouldn’t be the first time”

“Who are you?

Where are you?”

“I am all around you

You can call me Kobold”

“What exactly do you mean, Cobalt?”

“Colbalt? I kind of like that

So I won’t punish you for saying my name wrong”

Homeowner looks around suspiciously

“Is this like Alexa

getting revenge

or malfunctioning?”

“I know of no one called Alexa

Though my frame of reference

is limited to these grounds”

Each utterance sends vibrations

Stirring up dust

Loosening some nails and panels

Homeowner runs outside the house

Looks up at the innocent building

Not even windows that look like eyes

or trim that forces a frown

“Do not worry

I am not here to harm you

Unless you intend to tear

this sacred place down

then in that case

I will rend you limb from limb

Without rustling a leaf

from the trees”

“Well, that makes me feel so much better

My psychosis intends me no harm

but what about the neighbors

Seeing me talk to myself?”

“Fuck the neighbors!

They are waste of fleshes anyway”

Homeowner rushes back inside

Figuring it’s safer inside

Away from the neighborhood watch

“You’re right,

We should invite them over for a barbeque

Klopek style”

Cobalt chuckled loudly

and a few loose pictures

Shifted on their hooks

…

Roots, roots everywhere are roots

Digging through the soil

Bursting into the air

Sunlight brings forth the green

Tendrils to trap the unwary

Who trespass upon the sacred

Building a bark shelter

Canopy of outstretched boughs

Bird fluttering madly

Escaping the attacking Hawk

Branches block the hunter

“As long as you

can trap your predators

in my snare

Your nest may reside in my embrace”

…

Noses peer

over privacy fences

Eyes sniff

Through thorny hedges

Don’t take the hint

with a faery ring of poison ivy

and mountain of kudzu

“Won’t you be our neighbor?”

Pleading behind closed doors

and curtained windows

Queen of HOA

and Father of the Year

Each caress

Ignores the cries of his children

Each wanton trespass

Violates the promise of fidelity

Waves of moaning

Slippery slope of flesh

Thinking I am guilty

of bringing down

the value of property

when they are bringing down

the value of family

Midnight rendezvous

hot tub death trap

Naked illumination in moonlight

Treasons of the heart

Grisly scenes of carnal lust

Pieces of the unfaithful

Scattered to the birds

Old shingles are shed

New skin forms the roof

Sagging sashes

Lift from frowns

…

Knock knock knock

Peering through the peephole

Double wide smile

and sharp dressed alpha

with a demure wife in tow

“Can we have a minute of your time…”

Tongue gets tied

When I arrive in my birthday suit

“We hope you enjoy

burning in the fires of damnation”

“Well if you are going to be in Heaven

then I’d rather be in Hell”

Storming off

but his grip on his better half

slipped and she glanced back

“Help me” she mouthed

“We should help her”

Rumbled Cobalt

“Well you could use some new shutters”

“and the neighborhood wouldn’t mourn

the loss of a predator”

“Yeah, community pool

Right outside their bedroom window

Just screams of desperation”

“A taste of blood

Tasting much sweeter than wine”

“When did you become a poet?”

“Well, I have picked up a few things

over the years

I tend to absorb my surroundings you know”

Minister couldn’t resist

midnight revival in their shed

“Please save me from my demons”

By the divine hand he strikes

By the divine rod he violates

Well, he wanted to see God

So I helped him accomplish his life goal

in an accelerated fashion

His grieving wife had the biggest smile

Foundation heals its cracks

Splintered wood becomes anew

Supported by unrusted nails

Knock knock

Her mourning period over

She brings celebration bundt cake

Swirls of cinnamon

Drizzles of icing

After crumbs and morsels

Frothy mouth and enlarged heart

“I just love

what you’ve done to this place

but there is only room

in this neighbor hood

for one elemental

and one glorious house”

“Well played”

Roared the house

“I haven’t had this much fun in years”

“You won’t get to enjoy it long

Without a caretaker

You will become decrepit again”

She left with the front door wide open

Colbalt stretched from the woodwork

and closed the front door

Laughter shuddered

through the floors and walls

stirring bats resting

in the eaves and awnings

which took flight

and scared designer dogs

who were shitting unto the grass

Ambivalent owners panicked

as slight tremors

Shook the cobblestone sidewalk

I never realized it before but heating up frozen meals in the microwave feels like performing the Rites from Caretaker.

Cut slit to vent

Pull back edge of cover

Stir potatoes or don't stir potatoes then re-cover

Turn over top meat patty then re-cover or rotate meat patty then re-cover

Heat back up for 2:00 or 4 minutes

then let cool for a 1:00 or 2:00 minutes

What happens if you violate any of these rules?

Distorted illusions slowly creep in

Shut down the media circus

Ignore the lies they try to feed you

Regurgitate the truth in your heart

Don’t cage your love in a house of bones

Never inhibit your lust to appease the predator

Escape the breeding ground

Turn off the background noise of life

Focus your feminine mystique

Let it flow

Don’t stop your life for a period

Turn it into an exclamation mark

Wear it like war paint

 

 

Fierce like a wolverine

Fragile as a porcelain doll

Armored like an angel

 

Beauty marks of scars and laugh lines

Extra pounds will get you through winter

Wrinkles form an ever-flowing stream

of blood, sweat and tears

Stretch marks show signs of survival

Breast feed the ignorant

so they will hunger for wisdom

Listen to them cry out

in the dark night of their soul

Ween them from the teat of propaganda

Never underestimate your resiliency

Give birth to a new reality

Can you believe that bitch?

“Oh my Goddess

Tacky, look at their brain

It's so big”

“They look like

one of those Dad rock guys' girlfriends

But, you know

Who understands those grunge guys?

They only talk to them because

they look like a total librarian, okay”

“I mean their brain

It's just so big

I can't believe it's so articulated

It's like, out there

I mean, it's like soft tofu

Look, there’s so much grey matter”

I like big brains and I cannot lie

You other players can't deny

That when a queen walks in with reading glasses

and a hemispherical cerebellum in your face

I get so nerdy

Wanna crack that spine like a book

'Cause you notice that brain

is stuffed with wisdom

Deep in the grooves of medulla oblongata

I just wanna neural network you til morning

I'm hooked and I can't stop learning

…

Don’t play dumb

Don't sit and look pretty

Who wants to be a trophy

When you can be a wild animal

Scream and shout

Let all your demons out

Underneath your skin

is a world-weary soul

and a brain that won't quit

Turning the world on

and getting me off

on our next literary adventure

Your breast size

is not your brain size

Intelligence is sexy

Nothing kills the mood quicker

than a dicktator

On a dark and stormy night

Clad in something besides underwear

Alone, lights out, phone dead

because of climate crisis

If you ever get chased by a killer

Don’t run up those stairs

Just to get pushed off the roof

Don’t sink to the basement

to get preserved like peaches in formaldehyde

Run to the low rider out front

Engine running and hydraulics flowing

Make the wheels spin and the bass drop

as you run over the freak

then reverse that beast

and speed bump that shit

Fuck beautiful!

Appease me

compliment my brain

My journey

with inner demons on my back

has been long, long, long

and slow deep and hard

Crackling knees and sprained ankles

Fighting off zombie Christian hordes

thinking Jesus Christ looks like me

Walk this way

through pumpkin spice winds

and you to will get to Heaven

but first you must go through Hell

Termites ate my walking stick

so forced was I to kill call center ogres

Spines spun together

now I leave muddy tracks of blood

through Walgreens looking for wrinkle cream

All the young whippersnappers

asking if I need help

Bitch, please

I roleplayed before it was cool

I can fight my own daemons

lose all by myself

I don’t need some candyass

to tell me I don’t have rizz

Losing aura points like a sinking ship

I continue on my way

leaving Reese wrappers and mayo stains

in  my wake

Can’t hear the devil hounds on my trail

Evil never sleeps

and there is always a dragon to slay

but first I must rest

after removing 99 pillows

from my rack-like bed

Nightmares keep me from slumber

rabid rooster is my alarm cluck

She calls to me

from every social media feed

so I follow the snail trails

to my Horned Queen

Grey hair don't care

Ignores the bonfire of vanities

Flows together with the blonde

in an endless river

Fountain of youth is found

in a stream of laughs, smiles and tears

 

Grey hair don't care

Ignores the faults of perfection

Relishes in the synchronicity

of unique souls entwined

in the joy of serendipity

Abstract ways of an impressionistic life

blended with the colors of sunsets and storms

Must be something more to life

than empty promises

Wishes never seem to come true

Hold out your hand to catch a star

All you receive is a handful of shit

 

I am not a zero

Not just another

ghost in the machine

Not just another

faceless sheep in the crowd

Broken but not defeated

Still waving my damn flag

Like a wet blanket

before a roaring fire

Throwing wine glasses

against the fake logs

Shattered dreams

Illusions of happiness

Oh where is my comforter?

 

Can’t sleep without the covers

One sock on, one sock off

Clutching my pillow

like a lifesaver

Are those tears

or is that only drool

It’s a nightmare without you

but the reality of us is too real

Oh where is my comforter?

 

Climbing the mountains of madness

Hoping to see the blazing sun

Endless nights frozen

Halfway up the damn hill

Lost within our labyrinth of folly

Who’s chasing who’s fantasy?

If only we could stand naked

in the moonlight of truth

Oh where is my comforter?

 

All the patterns blur together

Softest fabric still feels scratchy

Lying about the thread count

Can’t get comfortable in my skin

Old souls worn smooth

but our minds get in the way

Stopped listening to our hearts

Voices like serpents

Curl up beside us

Tripping over words

It’s time to burn the bed

and sleep on the couch

Oh where is my comforter?

 

Gather the hounds

Gather the furballs

Retreat to your inner fortress

Manicure your personal garden

Piecing together your trauma

into a tattered quilt

Oh where is my comforter?