u/blehberries

Every time I read this phrase it feels like a slap in the face because my dog suffered immensely before she passed. It feels as if it assigns blame to the owner for not having foresight or even outright clairvoyance for an unexpected escalation of a condition or situation.

My dog was diagnosed with cancer, and not a particularly aggressive one(or so we thought), and we fought it for about three months. I had her seen by three different veterinarians, one of which was an oncologist, all of whom told me there was still hope, that she was doing well every time they saw her, that there were more treatments to try- none of whom recommended euthanasia at *any* point. I felt like I did everything "right" based on my veterinarian's recommendations.

She was eating, playing, and drinking, and then literally overnight her condition went to 100. She was barely able to move and was crying out, and I had to euthanize her during the worst moment of her life.

And seeing that damn phrase makes me feel like it's my fault for not seeing the subtle signs of her decline and of her cancer progressing under the surface that even the vets missed. For not euthanizing her sooner in her cancer diagnosis. That I'm selfish for trying to treat her at all. I *had* a plan for euthanizing her more peacefully if the treatments were ineffective, or if she showed any pain or discomfort sooner. I would have never guessed it would have ended the way that it did and I don't need to keep seeing that damned phrase or people calling owners selfish when her steepest decline happened in less than 12 hours.

Does anyone else feel this way or is it just me? Sorry for the rant, I just read a comment elsewhere where someone said they "wouldn't let it get to the point of their dog dying in the ER", as if anyone who ends up in a vet ER made stupid or selfish choices that lead them there. As if the line between an animal "still being themselves" versus not isn't paper thin, or a good day versus a bad one isn't a matter of hours or, hell, minutes.

Was I in fact stupid and selfish to try to save her? For listening to multiple veterinarians?