u/blue-pipe

does anyone else feel like this? it’s so nonsensical but i’d much rather be objectively hot and have thousands of followers and likes and have random people calling me attractive than have one partner who actually loves me for who i am physically and mentally. maybe it’s because i hate who i am, but i’d rather be an empty hot shell that people are superficially attracted to than being loved in this body that i hate

i’ve discussed my body insecurities with my therapist, but i feel like it doesn’t reflect how much it affects me. i’d like to bring up the idea of body dysmorphia to her attention but i don’t know how to do it cause i don’t want to self diagnose or anything

i know this is the average height subreddit, but i got banned from the short subreddit after expressing how depressed i was about my body. not only am i 5’2, i’m also built like a twig even after 2 years of going to the gym and spending a ton on weight gaining supplements and creatine and a sport nutritionist. i have the average body height and weight of a 13 year old child, and i’ll never experience growing up and developing into the body of a grown male adult. this is not about attracting women or dating or whatever other guys here blindly complain about. i just want to be seen as a normal man, have the body of a normal average man and live as one. at 5’2 i’ll forever be the small guy, the little guy that nobody takes seriously no matter how much effort i put into looking and acting better. no amount of social skill or gym or whatever is going to make people not notice my extremely small frame for a grown male adult. i remember having this dream where i looked down and i saw i had a normal height body and i finally felt at peace, like i could start living my life like any other dude. i’ll forever long for the life and body i could have had. and all that “no bro being a man is all about your personality and values!!!” bs is just coping, cause we all know a rude dumb 6’2 muscular dude is still gonna be perceived as more masculine than any super kind and smart 5’2 twig

i guess this is half a vent and half a question. so i’m 5’2 and this basically ruined my self esteem, but it didn’t come from nowhere. it came from repeated experiences that you can already imagine, basically it’s been made very clear to me from a young age that others see my height as a negative trait and that it changes how they perceive me (negatively), so less attractive, less masculine, less capable, etc. if you check my post history you’ll see this has affected me deeply for years to the point of depression.

last year i tried therapy to deal with it, and i felt like my therapist never understood how much it truly affected me and how society actually has a giant bias towards short men (and i don’t mean 5’8 men, i mean men like me who are genuinely very short, shorter than most women even). she would tell me how everyone has insecurities, and maybe if i was tall then i’d be insecure about something else, and how i kept talking about this and blah blah. basically she saw it as just some insecurity that didn’t matter and it made me feel very… idk, ignored? like all my experiences were meaningless and i was just making a big deal out of nothing. i’m sure she wouldn’t have said the same things to let’s say a fat girl complaining about beauty standards.

has anyone else dealt with this topic in therapy? i feel like the only people who understand me are other dudes my height who actually know what it’s like. everyone else is just like “uuuh idk it’s not that bad” while they’ll never have to deal with it.

i’m starting therapy again soon with a new therapist, and i hope this time it goes better

question mostly aimed at tops (since a guy asked in the comments lol)