u/blueyedegg

TL;DR: If I can't afford to work in my library anymore, then what?

I work at a small public library as a Public Services Assistant, which is the rough equivalent of a Library Technician/Circulation Assistant role. In my eight years of work experience (I started working when I was 16), I have never felt more at home in a work environment and culture, and I absolutely love what I do: helping people.

However, like many library roles, it is only 19 hours a week--no more, no less. I'm going through a separation and am taking over the last few months of the lease, so I literally can't afford to work this job by itself. The library is through the city, so the hours are strict, and there is little to no turnover; people in full-time roles have been here for 10+ years.

I've applied and interviewed for several PT library jobs in the area, but it is ROUGH out there for both library and non-library jobs. Even though I *currently* work at a public library, have a Bachelor's degree, and have an offer to the MLIS program at UW-Madison online, that *still* isn't enough (or is, perhaps, too much) for most employers. I just interviewed for a PT Administrative Assistant role at another library, but the HR representative advised that I won't hear back for at *least* two weeks.

As a fallback plan, I applied to a local credit union for a full-time Teller position...and they offered me the job this morning. The credit union has unbelievable benefits; I wouldn't have benefits if I worked the two PT library jobs separately (if the other library offers me the role). Though, I'm cover under my Dad's H/V/D benefits for another year and a half.

When I applied for the MLIS program in early December, I thought I wanted to be in a more back-end role--but I've grown to love the community relationships and interactions more than anything…so I don't even know if an MLIS is the way to go anymore, especially since experience matters much more than education in this field nowadays (from what I've heard).

If I leave my library, I will be devastated; we are a family--staff, volunteers, and patrons alike. But I feel like my hands are tied. Saying no to this opportunity at the credit union would be a massive leap of faith in hopes that I receive an offer for the other PT library position, but I've taken so many leaps of faith to no avail, and my ability to make rent is jeopardized by this.

People who have been in a similar situation and gone either way, pursued an MLIS or not, etc., I would love to hear from you. I recognize the privilege I have to be in this position, but I still feel trapped between a rock and a hard place. I have to decide by tomorrow afternoon. SOS!

TL;DR: I can't afford to work in my library anymore, so then what?

I work at a small public library as a Public Services Assistant, which is the rough equivalent of a Library Technician/Circulation Assistant role. In my eight years of work experience (I started working when I was 16), I have never felt more at home in a work environment and culture, and I absolutely love what I do: helping people.

However, like many library roles, it is only 19 hours a week--no more, no less. I'm going through a separation and am taking over the last few months of the lease, so I literally can't afford to work this job by itself. The library is through the city, so the hours are strict, and there is little to no turnover; people in full-time roles have been here for 10+ years.

I've applied and interviewed for several PT library jobs in the area, but it is ROUGH out there for both library and non-library jobs. Even though I *currently* work at a public library, have a Bachelor's degree, and have an offer to the MLIS program at UW-Madison online, that *still* isn't enough (or is, perhaps, too much) for most employers. I just interviewed for a PT Administrative Assistant role at another library, but the HR representative advised that I won't hear back for at *least* two weeks.

As a fallback plan, I applied to a local credit union for a full-time Teller position...and they offered me the job this morning. The credit union has unbelievable benefits; I wouldn't have benefits if I worked the two PT library jobs separately (if the other library offers me the role). Though, I'm cover under my Dad's H/V/D benefits for another year and a half.

When I applied for the MLIS program in early December, I thought I wanted to be in a more back-end role--but I've grown to love the community relationships and interactions more than anything…so I don't even know if an MLIS is the way to go anymore, especially since experience matters much more than education in this field nowadays (from what I've heard).

If I leave my library, I will be devastated; we are a family--staff, volunteers, and patrons alike. But I feel like my hands are tied. Saying no to this opportunity at the credit union would be a massive leap of faith in hopes that I receive an offer for the other PT library position, but I've taken so many leaps of faith to no avail, and my ability to make rent is jeopardized by this.

People who have been in a similar situation and gone either way, pursued an MLIS or not, etc., I would love to hear from you. I recognize the privilege I have to be in this position, but I still feel trapped between a rock and a hard place. I have to decide by tomorrow afternoon. SOS!

I finished reading “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert, and one of his primary claims is that the most accurate way to predict the outcome of a decision is to ask those who have actually made such decision and lived with its consequences.

I’m not here to debate this framework, but to experiment with it using my life’s central problem right now. My ex-partner (23NB/AMAB) and I (23NB/AFAB) were together for a little over four years. We met when we were 19, and we grew apart over the last year and a half of our relationship (we broke up in April). We’re both graduated from college, now, and our incompatibilities became just too…well, incompatible. We weren’t meeting one another’s needs in various ways, and we wanted/want different things.

That being said, he is still my person, and we’ve both expressed the feeling that we were making/made a huge mistake. I’ve never had someone love me so unconditionally, and I’m terrified by the possibility of regretting this for the rest of my life. I’ve watched my mother grieve my father—who she feels is her soulmate, and who she lost via divorce as a result of immense betrayal against him—and she lives an utterly miserable existence, even after 13 years and being remarried for 6 of them. What if I wind up living the same existence because I prioritized/wanted the wrong things?

So—TL;DR—for those of you who have (a) stayed with a partner long-term and worked to resolve incompatibilities or (b) left a relationship with someone you consider(ed) the love of your life, how do you feel about that decision now? What would you do differently, if anything? Was it worth it? Why or why not?

I just finished reading “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert, and one of his primary claims is that the most accurate way to predict the outcome of a decision is to ask those who have actually made such decision and lived with its consequences.

I’m not here to debate this framework, but to experiment with it using my life’s central problem right now. My ex-partner (23NB/AMAB) and I (23NB/AFAB) were together for a little over four years. We met when we were 19, and we grew apart over the last year and a half of our relationship (we broke up in April). We’re both graduated from college, now, and our incompatibilities became just too…well, incompatible. We weren’t meeting one another’s needs in various ways, and we wanted/want different things.

That being said, he is still my person, and we’ve both expressed the feeling that we were making/made a huge mistake. I’ve never had someone love me so unconditionally, and I’m terrified by the possibility of regretting this for the rest of my life. I’ve watched my mother grieve my father—who she feels is her soulmate, and who she lost via divorce as a result of immense betrayal against him—and she lives an utterly miserable existence, even after 13 years and being remarried for 6 of them. What if I wind up living the same existence because I prioritized/wanted the wrong things?

So—TL;DR—for those of you who have (a) stayed with a partner long-term and worked to resolve incompatibilities or (b) left a relationship with someone you consider(ed) the love of your life, how do you feel about that decision now? What would you do differently, if anything? Was it worth it? Why or why not?