u/bmankool

I'm on the verge of losing my girlfriend after a fight she instigated about money. We moved in together after she was getting heated over my former roommate "insulting her behing her back" and the drive to come see me. To be fair, he was never the issue. She would come over and leave literal shit in the toilet repeatedly as well as claiming he wasn't including her in anything. Not wanting to ruin both relationships I decided to move over an hour away just so she could be close to home. It was originally her idea to move in together. I was going to have to move out soon anyways because he was going to have his girlfriend move into the house once her lease ended. He owns the house so I wasn't going to make things awkward by staying past my welcome as we had discussed this on multiple occasions well in advance anyways.

I had a good job and was driving 3+ hours just to get too and from work while she ran a daycare out of her moms basement. Over the time we've known each other her mental health was clearly failing and she asked if I'd be ok with her closing the daycare. I foolishly said I'd support whatever decision she made since I could see how much she was declining due to the stress the business was causing for her.

I was fired from my position 3 weeks ago due to a bunch of bs I had no control over. Since then I've applied for unemployment and had an interview for a better position closer to our apartment. Unemployment is still investigating my claim and withholding my payments. Mind you that she hasn't been working for close to 3 months now and money is starting to get tight. I offered to sell my car to cover expenses since we have two cars and neither of us are working. She got all upset saying that she's sick of feeling broke. Apparently she has unpaid medical, school, and insurance debt that she wants me to pay. Now she's saying that WE are broke when I've been the only one paying for rent, utilities, internet, phone bill, and over $4500 tax bill she can't pay. Which she was also behind on her phone bill, costing me an additional $200 some just to switch her to my plan. I've literally spent every dime I've made for months to pay for all of it.

I'm struggling to let this one go because of how much I've done to make her lifestyle possible just to be tossed aside the minute I get a little bit behind. It stings all the more because of moving to where she wanted to be, getting a bigger apartment that she wanted, moving away from my friends, and talking marriage that she claims we'll never be able to afford. On top of all that, she claims that she's sick of feeling like my mom and doesn't like how codependent I am supposedly. She was acting like our apartment is trashed all the time even though a majority of the things sitting out in the apartment are her items. Purses, clothing, food, and all sorts of junk. Her claim is that I'm not spending enough time cleaning while I'm trying to find work and figure out how to afford rent. Her best solution was to let the apartment go and move into the tiny room in her moms basement until "we" both get jobs. Which is also unreasonable considering we have two cats and her mom has three plus a dog. It's starting to feel like she expects me to do everything for her financially and at home with little to no regard for her own lack of contribution to making things work. She even had the gall to say that she doesn't like how much time I spend at home and that I should be spending more time with my friends. All of which are now over an hour away due to her lack of compromise on location in the first place. Not to mention gas prices... Is it worth saving what we have considering the complete lack of self awareness on her part? Am I falling into the sunk cost fallacy?