u/boahancock02

Hi there! I am in what feels like a perfect relationship with my boyfriend, but his weed consumption is really affecting our sex life. I don’t want to brag or sound arrogant, but I am very confident about my looks and my sexual performance. I have a very high sex drive, and sex has always been -and always will be-very important to me.

My boyfriend smokes a lot of weed. I don’t really have a problem with it, especially because he has been using it for years and acts pretty much the same around me whether he is sober or high. I love him very much, and we seriously talk about getting married. I have never had such a healthy and beautiful relationship before.

When he takes breaks from smoking, our sex feels incredible, much more intense, and he can orgasm normally. However, when he smokes (which is most of the time):

1. Sex is still very good, and I love it, but it feels much less intense.

2. He takes much longer to orgasm. Yes, many people would probably say “be happy about it,” but honestly, I’m not. Luckily, we almost always have long sex, but it can become frustrating and even humiliating when I’m giving my best and he still just can’t come. Sometimes we even have to stop because he simply can’t finish. An orgasm is such an intimate moment for me Having to fight for it, or not getting there at all, really makes me sad.

3. When he smokes, I have to initiate sex 99% of the time, which feels awkward. Don’t get me wrong-I don’t mind initiating, and sometimes I even find it very sexy. He also almost always gets horny, so it’s not like he is rejecting me. But I still don’t really feel desired as a woman. Most men would probably love having a sexually active girlfriend, but instead I often feel like I am “too much.”

A few days ago, I started crying afterwards, and we talked about it. He comforted me and kept saying that I’m the best he has ever had in bed, that he just has a lower sex drive, and that it’s not my fault if he can’t orgasm.

I honestly don’t know what to do because this really messes with me emotionally. I can’t really expect him to change because this is how I met him right? I love this man deeply and would never leave him, but I keep thinking about how this could become even worse in the future. I’ve even started becoming passive-aggressive sometimes because I get so frustrated..can a relationship survive sexual incompatibility like that?

Привіт!❤️I started learning Ukrainian about three months ago, so of course I’m still at the very beginning. I can read and understand the alphabet, introduce myself, I’m almost through the Duolingo course(not with the memorizing tho)and I also have one lesson a week with an online tutor, which has helped me a lot.
I originally started learning Ukrainian because of my boyfriend and especially because I wanted to be able to speak with his mom. My boyfriend is nearly fluent in my native language, and I felt like I should at least try to learn his too (and now I already fell in love with the Language)

The thing is, I’m a very shy person and a huge overthinker, and I haven’t told him that I’m learning Ukrainian. He would probably never expect me to do something like this, and I honestly don’t even know how he would react. I think he’d be happy, but at the same time I’m scared he’ll laugh at my mistakes or at how slow my progress is

Did anyone else here start learning Ukrainian for their partner? Did you tell them right away, or did you keep it to yourself at first? And did it make learning easier and more motivating, or did it just make you more nervous?