u/bratintensifies

I’ve already reached out to Shop support, but with the pumpkin search today I realized I cannot for the life of me access any of the previous drop. Under “Shop All” it’s just the Halloween products, and the tote and book quilt cover. Both of those are sold out but still show up for me. When I google the products they do show up, but when I click on the link it takes me to the Simsie Shop homepage. Does anyone else have this issue?

Today was just the last fricken straw on the camel’s back. This is a long one but I just need to rant to someone!

I’m 26F, I get married in September, and this weekend is my bachelorette party. It’s co-ed with my fiancé because our friend group is one big circle. We drive 3 hours into our closest city tomorrow night, where we stay with my MIL. Our 16 month old son is coming with us, and he’s staying with MIL on Saturday night. He was SUPPOSED to stay with my mom Sunday night, but she cancelled today. Thankfully my MIL is off Monday, so she can keep him Sunday night too, but did my mom ask about that? No. She just said “I hate to do this but I can’t watch [name] this weekend, my surgery got moved up to Monday.”

Her surgery is a cosmetic surgery to remove scar tissue from her shoulder, after it healed oddly after a motorcycle crash about a year ago. She’s been on leave from work since then. She has FULL mobility in her arm. The scar tissue is in a weird spot where a backpack strap would sit, but it would fall off, so she can’t return to work yet because she would struggle with a backpack (she’s a heavy equipment operator, I didn’t know they wore backpacks so often??). ANYWAYS. She originally wanted to get the surgery in September after the wedding. Then she booked the surgery for the first week of August, because at that point she’d be able to remove her sling for the pictures. Today her doctor called and asked if she wanted to move her surgery up to Monday, and she fully took it, and backed out of babysitting.

The reason I’m pissed about that is because she hates my MIL. She is incredibly jealous. We go see my MIL once a month. When we’re there, MIL dotes on our son, she feeds him, plays with him, she hands him off to his dad for poopy diapers, loves to spend time with him, etc. She is all about him!! She came down and saw us immediately post partum, and stayed overnight in a hotel and then came back early enough that my fiancé and I could sleep in. I trust my MIL fully with our son and have never doubted her capabilities to take care of him.

My mom came down the night before my c-section, and then when my fiancé and I came home from the hospital, she stayed for 3 hours before saying “you guys got this” and LEFT. Not to mention, she stayed for 9 days when my younger sister gave birth, but during the 3rd day when my sister and her bf were napping, my mom took their newborn to a family friend’s house without permission or anything. So my sister woke up to her baby missing. So I am not so keen on my mom watching our son, but I’ve tried my hardest to get over that. When she has come down since my son’s birth, I try to include her in bedtime, morning routine, bath time, etc, and she doesn’t care. She has only watched him once in his whole life, mainly because she is constantly out doing stuff that does not include seeing us or making time for us. When I told my step dad about my mom watching my son this weekend, he said he was proud of me for trusting my mom, and that she’d probably really appreciate the bonding time.

Anyways, my mom got her driving back in January, which was great timing because my son’s birthday was in February. She came down for his party, and realized how much easier it was for her, a single woman, to come down to my 5bd house, where she’s got a fully furnished basement to sleep in, vs us having to pack up our son and sleep in her twin bed, and the baby in a playpen. So she said she’d start coming down every couple of weeks, and I was so happy! I told her that sounded amazing.

She came down once in May. That’s it. She’s been travelling a bunch, going to a ton of different concerts and festivals, she goes partying with her friends. And every time we tell her we’re coming to her city, she has plans. And when she did come down in May, it was to help me make the corsages and boutonnières for my wedding. She got super antsy halfway through, called it boring, and started rushing through it all, and I ended up having to redo her work because it was covered in hot glue. I let it go.

On July 12th, she was supposed to come down to help me and my 2 bridesmaids with centrepieces. On the 11th, she called and said she wasn’t going to come down, because she wanted to go out drinking with her ex (my step dad) for his birthday on the 12th. Well I had called my step dad when we first landed on the 12th, and he said he didn’t have any plans, and that he hoped we had a good time. So imagine my surprise when she freakin bails on me. At this point, my flowers had been delayed by a month because SHE insisted she be there to help, and we had to find a date that worked for HER. She called the next day while we were working on the flowers and just proceeded to talk about how hungover she was. I told her I was upset with her, she said she didn’t have the mental capacity to come down to see me, I gave her grace and let it go.

And I specifically wanted her to watch our son this weekend so she could stop crying about favouritism with my MIL. My older sister struggles with this too - she lives out of province, and she can count on one hand the amount of times our mom has flown to see her/her son. And it’s not a money issue - again my mom is busy doing something 24/7. Whereas her in laws fly out monthly or every 2 months to go see them. But my mom hates their “favouritism” too.

So she backs out of babysitting and I get upset. Then my sister tells me my mom has invited my aunt to our dinner on Sunday night - which is another thing, my mom and grandma basically invited themselves to my bachelorette party, then when they were told the dates, said it didn’t work for them, and that we’d have to change it. I NEVER invited them! I told them we were not changing the dates. So they asked for a dinner Sunday night instead.

This specific aunt my mom invited for me has known about the wedding date since we landed on it, over a year ago, and she spent all her vacation time and money going travelling with her boyfriend, and she insisted on getting an invite, only to immediately email me that they can’t come. Totally fine, I definitely expected her to attend but it’s whatever, I can’t control what other people do.

I tell my mom I don’t appreciate her inviting people on my behalf to what is essentially my bridal dinner - she says she didn’t think it was a big deal. I say well it is. Then I tell her how frustrated I am about her CHOOSING to move her surgery up, when the plan has been for weeks for her to babysit overnight. This has been the plan longer than she’s been on the surgery wait list even! She says she’s “sorry if [I’m] upset, but [she’s] not arguing about this, so [she’s] going to let [me] go.” And then said goodbye and hung up.

This is TWICE in two weeks she’s bailed on me for something important!!! I’m really really struggling. I used to think it was great that my mom was so fun, but I really need her to be a mom and a grandma right now, and she doesn’t want to be either. Am I tripping? Am I overreacting? Like I’m just so frustrated! I specifically set up this weekend so my mom would get some time with her grandson, and she just totally blows it off because she doesn’t want to wait 2 weeks for a surgery. She has spent MONTHS complaining about not getting enough time with our kid or not being included or thought of enough. I just don’t know what to do from here out