u/briefsandbows

Hi everyone, I’m looking for a bit of perspective because I’m feeling quite confused and trying not to get my hopes up too much.

I got my first positive OPK on 18 September, so I think I ovulated around 19th. I tested negative at 8 DPO, 9 DPO, 11 DPO, and then again at 13 DPO but the 13 DPO test was weird/possibly defective. The whole result window stayed pink for a long time, the control line was faint, and I couldn’t properly see if there was a second line during the reading time. Hours later it dried white and looked negative, but I know you’re not meant to read it that late.

My usual cycles have recently been 29, 33, 31, 32, and 31 days. I’m now on cycle day 35, which is later than any of those and later than I expected this month(15 dpo today). I still haven’t got my period.

I’m going to take another test tomorrow morning with first-morning urine. Has anyone had negatives at 8, 9 and 11 DPO, then ended up positive later? Is there still realistically hope, or should I prepare myself for this being a negative cycle? Also have you had any experience with a defective test like the one i had?

My son was originally sleep trained with Ferber at around 5 months, and we successfully retrained him at 7 and 9 months. He responded amazingly each time and never cried for more than about 15 minutes.

He was able to fall asleep independently in his crib and generally slept through the night.

About a week ago, his sleep regressed due to teething. We brought him into our bed once, and since then he has been relying on physical touch or having me next to him to fall asleep. It feels like intense separation anxiety.

He will fall asleep in out bed if I am touching him or if he is cuddled next to me in our bed. But if he thinks I am not nearby when in his crub, he stands up and cries. If I sit by the crib without touching him, he reaches through the bars trying to find my hand. He does not let me leave the room.

Initially, cuddling him to sleep seemed manageable, but over the last two nights he has started waking in the middle of the night and has been very hard to resettle unless we bring him into our bed.

The night before last, we tried to restart Ferber. He became hysterical and screamed to the point of vomiting within the first five minutes. We stopped the attempt.

Last night, I tried the chair method because I read it can work well for toddlers. He fell asleep in his crib after about 40 minutes with me sitting beside him and my hand on his back. I periodically removed my hand, but he kept seeking it again. Eventually he fell asleep.

He then woke around 3:30 am calling for me. I went in after a few minutes and sat beside the crib. It took almost two hours for him to fall back asleep, and he seemed to need my hand for much of that time. I tried leaving a few times, but he woke immediately, looked for me, and panicked when he realised I had gone.

Questions:

1. Should I push through and retry Ferber tonight, given it worked so well for him previously?

2. Or should I stick with the chair method, with the goal of gradually leaving the room within a week?

Is the chair method counterproductive because I am still giving him his current sleep association i.e. my touch/presence?

Could Ferber at this point create a negative association with the crib because he becomes so distressed?

His usual schedule before this regrwssion was:

wakes around 6;00/ 6:30 am, naps around 11:30 for 1.5–2 hours, and normally goes into the crib around 20:00. Before this regression, his total sleep was usually around 12 hours per day.

I am exhausted and would really appreciate practical advice from anyone who has retrained a previously independent toddler after teething or separation anxiety.

Thank you