Help for my unhappy elderly dad pls !
As brief as I can:
My mom died 3.5 years ago. My dad is 92. We have moved him 5 times since mom died including purchasing a home to live in with my brother then selling it I a few months as things didn’t work out. Currently he is in a local very nice AL community… his 3rd time there. We just moved him there after 2 years at another AL facility 45 min away that isn’t very nice and doesn’t have good care it good. But it was his childhood hometown.
Hie reasoning skills are gone. All cognitive tests show him as good because they don’t include reasoning skills.
He told me last week, just 3 weeks after moving him back close to us ( he wanted to move closer to us ) that he wants to go back to his childhood hometown facility again. He has health issues that besides the staff, we as family need to stay on top of as he won’t share these issues with us etc. He got by without showering at the other facility and due to his skins condition from diabetes he needs his skin ( body) washed at least twice a week. He’s manipulative and lies and is again very stubborn and gets mean when we try to do what’s best for him.
There are lots of other details and examples.
He told us that he would get an attorney to revoke us from POA etc if we don’t move him back.
We have told him that we won’t move him back to the hometown place again. He could live with us or at one other very nice facility in our city which he lived and worked in 50 plus years.
He won’t listen to the reasoning why.
I don’t know what to do except ignore him now which is sad. He’s called me 3 times yesterday and today saying I need to get the movers lined up and other mean things.
There’s no talking to him.
But I also have tried to help him be happy and I also don’t want him to be at a place he’s not cared for. Nor do we want to move him again.
He won’t talk to a counselor or similar.
Besides a tranquilizer ( I say this in jest) any suggestions? Please?