I hurt the people I cared the most.
It all started as just timepass. Then one day, a girl randomly texted me. She didn’t know me, and I didn’t know her either, so naturally, we both got curious about each other. We started talking every day. We usually talked like normal friends, but we talked a lot because we were both free and enjoyed each other’s company.
After some time, I guess we started developing feelings for each other, but honestly, I can’t say for sure. Then, after about a month, we stopped talking because she thought we might get too attached.
A few days ago, she texted me again and told me that she missed me. I missed her too, so we started talking again.
Whenever we got bored or ran out of things to talk about, we used to play Truth or Dare. I had told her about my best friend, so she knew a little about her. I also told her that my best friend had gone through a breakup a few days earlier.
One random evening, while we were playing Truth or Dare, she gave me a dare: to propose to my best friend.
I didn’t have any feelings for my best friend like that, so I told her she could use my Instagram and propose to her herself. She already had access to my Instagram, and honestly, I thought she was just joking around and would tell my best friend that it was a dare.
But things got serious.
She actually proposed to my best friend using my Instagram account.
She told me not to interfere because she thought my best friend might say yes. I could have stopped her, but I didn’t. I was curious about what my best friend actually felt about me. She told me that if it was a yes, maybe I would end up in a relationship, and if it was a no, at least I would get some clarity.
So I stayed quiet.
Eventually, my best friend rejected the proposal. After that, I told my best friend to talk to me on Snapchat because I wanted to talk to her privately, since the other girl still had access to my Instagram.
That’s when the girl got angry and ignored me for the entire night.
Later that night, my best friend messaged me and said that she never expected me to do something like that. I explained everything to her and told her about the girl, but she said she would never talk to me again.
I couldn’t sleep that night. I kept thinking about everything that had happened.
The next morning, I finally talked to my best friend properly and told her the whole story. She was extremely angry. She started saying a lot of bad things about that girl because she thought the girl was trying to ruin our friendship and wanted me all to herself.
But the truth is, I knew that girl hadn’t done anything that I didn’t allow her to do.
I could have stopped her.
I didn’t.
(I was just curious about what my best friend felt about me, and because of that curiosity, I let the situation go too far.)
I was scared to admit that to my best friend, so I couldn’t properly defend the other girl when she was being blamed and insulted.
And then I made another mistake.
I forgot that the girl still had access to my Instagram.
She read our entire conversation.
She saw all the things my best friend said about her, but more importantly, she saw that I didn’t defend her. She got hurt—not only because my best friend had insulted her, but because I stayed silent when she probably expected me to stand up for her.
After that, she started hating me and left.
Eventually, I explained everything to my best friend, and she understood what had actually happened. But by then, the damage was already done.
Now all I’m left with is regret.
My best friend got hurt because of my foolish decision, and the person I had grown attached to and loved talking to left me because of a situation that I could have prevented.
The worst part is that neither of them was completely responsible for what happened.
I was.
I made one stupid decision because I was curious, and then I kept making mistakes trying to deal with the consequences.
I wish I had stopped everything that day. I wish I had been honest from the beginning. I wish I had understood that sometimes getting “clarity” isn’t worth hurting people you care about.
I know I can’t change what happened now.
But I genuinely regret it.
A part of me feels like I’ll carry this regret for a very long time, because I lost someone I cared about and hurt my best friend over something that never needed to happen in the first place.
And honestly, that’s the part that hurts the most.