u/burner_witch0514

I was on a work trip last week and one of the other women on the trip was pregnant.

Somehow the subject came up and she asked me if I had kids. I very neutrally said that I didn't, and she replied "Good choice."

I almost burst into tears in the middle of the restaurant.

She didn't mean anything by it, she was just making a self deprecating joke and didn't realize the impact it would have. But it was one of those moments that feels like getting smacked in the face with a cast iron pan.

It is absolutely not a "choice" for me, and every time someone assumes that it is, I just want to scream.

I'm already in the middle of a spiral these past few months and everything triggers me. I'm turning 40 in a few weeks, it's just over a year since my diagnosis, several friends have had babies recently including one yesterday...

I can't properly talk about it with anybody in my life, and I don't want people to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me, so I keep it to myself as much as possible.

Even just walking past a pregnant woman on the street is enough to send me into an internal meltdown, but that's a whole other post.

The work trip was to the city I grew up in, which added to the spiral for so many other reasons, including my parents living there. Oh and for the entire trip I had the absolute worst period. The whole five days. Thank you non-ovulatory cycles.

I was a complete mess by the time I got home.

So my sense of smell has been a little iffy since I had covid in 2020, but this is... a new development.

I work with kids, and some of them STINK!!

And I don't mean stink like how teenagers can have BO. I mean sometimes there's that too, but that's a separate issue...

These are little kids age 4-7. It's a really specific kind of moldy smell, like fabric that got left outside overnight in the damp, but also like vegetable peels in a compost bin. It's extremely strong and it burns my nostrils just thinking about it!

I've never noticed this before, it's only started in the past year. It's always the exact same smell and it's the same few kids who are completely unrelated. I'm sure it's not a hygiene issue, there's no way any of these kids parents would let them go around stinking. It's not sunscreen, they're not grimy, it's not smelly outdoor shoes or anything like that.

I don't have kids, so I don't know if this is like... a thing that happens at that age? I've worked with this age group for over 10 years though and never noticed it before!

Has anyone else experienced this, or am I completely losing my mind.

TW: body image

I'm a fairly average size US size 10. I used to be a size 4 well into my 30's (I'm 39 now) but due to a combination of chronic fatigue syndrome and perimenopause I'm not anymore, which I'm fine with.

However my proportions have... reorganized themselves... over the past year and nothing seems to fit me, even when it's in the correct size. My weight has shifted and I have a front "pouch" which I hate. I feel both physically and mentally uncomfortable in my body and also in every piece of clothing I own.

I went shopping for summer clothes today and nothing was working, so I figured what the hell, and picked up a maternity dress.

Wouldn't you know it fit perfectly. It's cute for summer, sits comfortably, I don't need to wear spanx underneath it, and ironically my "pouch" is way less obvious than in any regular dress I've tried on recently. It turns out designers can make women's clothes with different proportions in mind, they just don't want to.

Normally I would just laugh something like this off, but I'm honestly really upset.

Last year while undergoing medical tests for an unrelated issue, I received a surprise infertility diagnosis. It completely wrecked me, I'm still kind of a mess about it to be honest. Of all the things that could possibly trigger a complex grief meltdown, I didn't anticipate this one.

It's just not fucking fair. My body has already betrayed me so hard in every possible way. I had to give up my entire creative career after I got CFS from long covid. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I will never be well again. Add to that I've been suffering for a year and a half with peri symptoms, insomnia, constant hot flashes, unbearable itching, and all for what?

I don't have children, I'll never get to have children. I'm completely devastated about it, and now I can't even dress myself without being reminded in the most humiliating way possible of that life I'll never get to have.

Like what the fuck, and also I feel so embarrassed by all of it.

This is a little bit on the icky side, so... sorry in advance I guess.

Is anyone else having an issue with the skin on their perineum splitting?

Cause holy fuck.

This keeps happening to me and it is so unbearably painful. Nothing helps and there doesn't seem to be any way of preventing it.

It started about six months ago and I thought it was some kind of allergy issue so I switched up all my shower products, bought new underwear, tried new laundry detergent, but nothing made any difference. It's like my skin down there is made of tissue paper and sometimes it just... rips?

I've looked into it and apparently it has to do with low estrogen levels, but I've never heard anyone talk about having this symptom. Please someone tell me I'm not the only one.