Saw a little head poking out from the space above my porch sliding door while closing the blinds and realized it was a little rat snake. I had some frozen mice in my freezer for my pet snake so couldn’t resist giving him one, even though he is probably already full from eating all my porch frogs (I was wondering where they’ve all been these past few days… guess that explains it)
Just needed to vent to people who understand.
I was doing so well for such a long time and out of nowhere it feels like I’m just doing so bad. Can’t get myself to sleep more than 5 hours a night (3.5-4 hrs have been the average though), getting so angry and annoyed over every little thing then letting it sit in my head and continue to piss me off, and current fun thing is processing the fact that I exist and imagining myself from an outsiders perspective until it makes me have a crisis and I then isolate myself from everyone because I hate how I interact with people and it’s uncomfortable acknowledging myself. Then I fall back into feeling sad and I just have to dissociate to get through the day, and it feels like my thoughts sound too wild and irrational for me to open up to others about how I’m feeling.
Just got my dosage of lamictal upped, and my psychiatrist is hoping this will help with the anger and anxiety. Just disappointed that my mental health is doing so poor right before I’m supposed to be going on a 6 day trip, the longest vacation I’ve had in 5+ years and really need to be able to enjoy it.
Just feeling down, hoping med changes will help me. I’m tired of feeling like this
Posting this mostly just to rant because no one else understands the extent of how much this affects me.
I work at a hipster-y market/deli and am ringing people up at the register or bartending if not stocking. When I have a stocking day it is great, as I can just put my headphones in and zone out. But when I’m at the register or bar I slowly lose my mind throughout my 8 hour shift. People coughing and clearing their throats CONSTANTLY, and directly all over everything without covering their mouths and open mouth coughing triggers me the worst. Constant gum/ food smacking. And even when the noise stops, it loops through my head for a very long time and I progressively just get more anxious and angry throughout the day. I would love to find a WFH position but I don’t have any qualifications for the open positions I’ve seen, and also get paid pretty well here.
How do those of you who work customer service even handle it? I have another mental disorder on top of misophonia and all of it combined makes me an angry, anxious mess.