u/bwkgjnlmgwlpsnxm

To sum up my situation: I broke things off with my MM about 3 weeks ago. He’s determined to find a way to make this work and is finally talking about ending his marriage so we can be together.

He keeps his married life private and never talks about his relationship with his W. But he’s told me that he wants us to go legit, and that it will take time to sort out his situation.

So he recently told me that he’s “making progress on his current situation so we can be together” without giving me any details.

I didn’t really ask him what that meant exactly (did he break the news to his W? Is he contacting lawyers? Idk). I just gave him the same response that I give him every time, which is “I think it’ll take years seeing as you have a small child, so let’s put everything on pause and if one day you really are single we can reconnect”. He hasn’t replied anything to that just says he wants us to work things out.

I keep freaking out any time he talks about leaving her and being with me legit. It’s obviously what I want but I feel so much responsibility for his poor wife that will have her whole life completely turned up side down. And his poor child that will have to grow up with part time parents. I just feel bad.

My question is, for those of you in the process or having already gone legit, how did you deal with the pressure of knowing that your MM is breaking up his family to be with you? I feel responsible for his potential future divorce even though I’ve told him that the decision has to truly come from him.

In the midst of me trying to keep strong and stay away from my ex MM, I’ve been watching a ton of videos about how to let go of a MM after an affair.

The man in this video puts forward some very harsh points. It felt like he virtually slapped me across the face with reality.

He is basically saying that no man who actually respects a woman would put her in the position of a side piece (making her the OW), and that he would instead set her free and tell her that he’ll reach out once he’s no longer married.

According to him, if a married man pursues you and gets you to sleep with him, that basically he has 0 respect for you and sees you like trash. Whether that’d be consciously or not.

Do you agree? Are we all just completely delusional to believe them when they say they love us and swear they want to be with us?

My MM has reassured me multiple times that he’s dead serious about a real relationship with me but can’t right away because of his baby that’s only 7 months old. He seems so sincere every time that I keep falling for it, but this video makes me doubt it.

I’ve never experienced a physical connection like this before. It wasn’t just regular sex. It was actual love making. We could go for hours while looking deep into each other’s eyes. It would go from crazy hot sex to slow and intimate deep love.

I truly believe that’s how he made me fall in love with him.

All my life I thought I enjoyed sex but it wasn’t until him that I realized I just tolerated it before.

This is the first time ever, at 32, that I’m actually absolutely crazy about making love with someone.

I’m so sad to have to let this go. We haven’t seen each other for 2 weeks since I broke things off. And I miss him terribly. I’m heartbroken that we’ll never get to have those moments of deep connection again.

I’ve never been very much concerned about intimacy in my previous relationships. It was just something I felt I had to do in order to keep the relationship going. Like a chore.

But with him… my goodness. I never knew sex could be this amazing.

He says he’ll do what’s necessary for us to be together (meaning a divorce), but I know this could take years, as they have a 7 month old baby. And that’s only if he actually keeps his promise.

So I know it’s for the best and I have to let him go. But I’m so scared I’ll never find this kind of effortless, magnetic crazy passionate love again. I just found it for the first time, it kills me to have to lose it. I’m actually crying.

I’m just really struggling at the moment. Please help me stay strong.

Sorry if this topic isn’t allowed.

I’m trying to figure out if the sexual chemistry I had with my ex MM is truly one of a kind or if it’s just that intense because it’s within the context of an affair.

My ex MM is in his mid 40s. We were seeing each other once a week and we would spend pretty much all day in bed having sex.

He was able to cum multiple times back to back without stopping. I have never been with someone who can do that. He could last for 20-30 minutes and we would have multiple rounds in a day. Sometimes close to 10.

Needless to say it was very hard for me to give that up. I loved our sexual connection so much. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to find someone as good as him.

I don’t think he’s in a dead bedroom marriage as he just had a baby with his wife a few months ago. He did allude to being less intimate with his partner throughout the years though.

I’d like to get the perspective of men on this sub: how common is this?

So I ended things with my MM once before. But caved and started seeing him again after only two days. He said all the right things, talked about the future he wants with me someday, told me how much he doesn’t want to lose me etc.

Now a month later, I broke it off again and his reaction was much much different. He simply said “I understand, letting go is gonna be hard because I have true feelings for you. I hope we can end things smoothly and keep in touch”. I told him “sure we can still communicate by messages but we can’t see each other. I need to move on”.

After that he just sent me like a good night message. He hasn’t reached out ever since. It’s been a whole day. We used to text everyday all day long ever since we started seeing each other. This is the first time ever that we’ve stopped talking.

I’m so confused by his reaction and radio silence that followed. I feel like he doesn’t take me seriously after already having ended it once before and gotten back into it.

I’m obviously not going to reach out first, as my goal is to actually get over him. I ended it for a reason, that being him not doing what’s necessary for us to be together. But it still stings that he hasn’t reached out. I’d like to get the perspective of the MM on this sub.

Why did he go from asking to stay in touch and slowly transition into a break up… to ghosting me? What do I do if he eventually reaches out? I said I’m okay with communication but now that he’s ignored me for this long, I don’t feel like responding at all. Last night he watched all of my IG stories but didn’t text me at all. I’m so confused. He was the one asking to not go no-contact. Now he’s cut contact with me.