Am i in the wrong for wanting to run away? Also advice pls
I’m 16F. I’m planning on running away tonight. My household is very toxic. Ive been wanting to runaway since i was 11. Tonight was my last straw with my mom. She got home for lunch from work and i grew up learning how to read her energy, read her face, etc whatever. And i just knew she was having a bad day and i asked if she was ok and stuff nd she said she was but idek. So first listen.. i gave up my entire last 2 summers for her to work and for me to watch her 3 kids. Who are 15, 13 and 10. They should all be able to take care of themselves right?. I was 9 taking care of all of them. Ive came to realize that my mom doesnt love me she just loves me as a resource and she loves that she can control and micromanage my life. She doesn’t care for me either she’ll be sitting there screaming her head off at me and i’ll just shut down crying and she’ll keep on going not gaf ab my feelings. I think she wishes i was my sister she had at 14 and got adopted by her friend. No clue tho. My mom’s never really been my mom. She says all the time that she didn’t know how to be a mom and that me and her grew up together.
There’s a lot that has happened but the main reason i want to get out of here is because i can’t have a life of my own. I clean the whole house everyday or i get screamed at nd shi. Take care of the kids. Have so many responsibilities that shouldn’t be mine. Give up so much for her that i don’t want just to make her happy but i’m still not enough in the end.
The ofher main reason is because she makes my mental health so shit. I’ve struggled with self harm since i was 11 and she’s known this and never has gotten me help or tried to help herself. And she yells and screams and punishes me if she finds out i did and threatens to send me away.
And honestly she is the reason.
And i feel like if i don’t get out of this house i’ll end up doing sum even more selfish shi.
Also -
I live in Cbus OH. Idk if i should stay and hide in the city or if i should go to a different state or what.
I do have multiple plans either way.
I don’t have any money but i have a bike. I already don’t eat a lot bc we don’t really have food in the house anyways.