u/c0smic_c

Hello,
I inherited property with my sibling in Australia, it’s just over 5 acres with a house and granny flat

I’m beginning to think my sibling just isn’t capable of maintaining said property, they currently live in the flat but I’m in the main house and they come to use the kitchen in the house but won’t contribute to cleaning shared areas, they don’t work but sleep late every day and only do things they enjoy doing - so I’m working full time and doing the lions share of the work around the property

I absolutely couldn’t trust them to maintain it if I was to travel or move out. I feel trapped and really miserable

How have others navigated this situation 😢

I’m in my late 30s and so is my brother. All of his life he’s struggled with depression. My parents didn’t get him the help he needed when he was a kid

So now we’re adults and dealing with the consequences of that.
He’s hit rock bottom and did some pretty bad things.

I have been trying to support him over the years but it’s so hard, I know he’s unwell but the frustrating thing is he never does anything to change his situation, he went to get help only because he was legally forced to, he went on meds and I don’t know if he consistently takes them but they don’t seem to be working

Now we’re living in the home of one of our parents that we inherited when they passed. We have their animals to take care of, and I’m just done

This is going to sound so callous but I’m so exhausted, I’m trying to juggle full time work and research and grieving my parent and keeping my relationship and managing the house I bought with my partner.

I don’t have boundless compassion, I can’t keep living like this. I’m so close to snapping and I’m so sick of people telling me how unwell my brother is and how he can’t make those decisions for himself

Like how long can these excuses keep going on? Why should I have to sacrifice my mental health just because he won’t make any changes?

I’m so devastated that we’re probably going to have to sell our parents house for me to get out of this situation

I don’t know what I’m looking for but I guess, does anyone else support a sibling or loved one with depression?
How do you cope?
Please be gentle, I am trying so hard to make this work 🥺

Tl;dr - sibling with depression, ongoing and not making changes. How do I cope/boundaries/advice