u/caitcatbar1669

Where do all the alternative people hang out? Best bar? Local shows ? Is it all Olympia to find punk rock shows and places to go?

When do you feel again

Idk where to start. Married almost 11 years we have 2 kids- found out last week he spent the last month having an EA.

Over the last week it’s been small details updated, new truths etc. started with an argument as to why he felt the need to talk to his friends about not being happy with me (I was too difficult because I was grieving, working full time and caring for the kids at home as I work from home with them all summer and he works away from the home). He swore there was no one else, then admitted there was when I kept begging for honesty I could tell he was lying. Then he said he had feelings for her, she denied him so he was moving on. But then there were still 2am phone calls as I’m asleep in bed he’s in the living room chatting with her.

This came out last Friday over the weekend I wrestled with how much can I handle? Do I love him enough to try and beleive he’ll change? I demanded complete transparency. I thought things were turning and was deeply sad but he was there sitting in it with me.

Then yesterday happened. A simple question as I brought him lunch and something was off a weird reply made me question why he’s lying? Then he comes home from work I tell him exactly what I’m feeling and he just repeats the lies. I break down I KNOW he is hiding something I can tell. He finally admits that she didn’t say she didn’t like him back instead she said she also had feelings. While they both “agreed” it could never be more than friends and continued their “friendship”.

After more questions and timelines not matching on when it ended or how or who I’m left here completely numb. I just don’t think I have it in me to continue. To sit in the pain of the lies. The betrayal is one thing but the constant barrages of lies is a whole other thing.

Idk if I’ll ever know the full truth while he sat there and begged me to stay and claimed everything was true and retelling the story I just thought to myself “why am I here”?

I don’t need him financially he’s a great dad so as much as it hurts I wouldn’t take them away. But I just feel absolute disgust toward him. To look at me in my pain and continue to lie. To have sneaky late night calls while his wife and children sleep on the other side of the wall. All while pretending our marriage was doing well.

I wish I was angry. I wish I was sad. I am both I guess but really I’m nothing. I exist and that is it. I wish my anger would take over so I could cause the pain he did in return. I have the ability to get them fired, tell HER husband and tear her family apart as well. But I just am not a cruel person. I wish. I wish I felt anything but numb.

I have 3 goats - strictly pets and supposed to be for brush control. I have fenced areas for them - I’ve created a newly fenced area they can get into and out of from the original side - this new area is loaded with brush, bushes etc for them to eat as I need it cleared but would rather they do it then hack it down. However they will NOT go to the new area. I convince them with treats staying on that side etc, but they prefer the dirt lot they have eaten down already? Is it just a comfort thing they want to stay where they know? Give it time? Or are they just… not that smart?

How do I get them to be the weed eaters I need them to be? They are down this section it’s time to move sections! I didn’t fully change it I just made more area with extra fencing - they still have their huge shed water etc but I’d think they’d WANT to go to the green side?