u/careerconnector25

Boring mag wfh ngayon at gusto ko lang ng kausap tonight, habang nasa shift. If you're also looking for someone to talk to, tara? Usap tayo sa call.

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About me:

- 5'8"

- Graveyard shifter

- Introverted pero hindi naman dry kausap

- May sense kausap (most of the time 😆)

- Down for any topics like life, work, random thoughts, chika, memes, trauma dump (basta may boundaries haha), existential crisis, kahit ano.

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About you:

- Makwento

- Kalog at may humor

- No mean energy please, gusto ko lang ng good vibes

- Working professional

- Around Metro Manila para pwede mag-hangout in the future if we click

- 27 and up

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Not necessarily looking for anything serious tonight. Gusto ko lang ng genuine conversation and someone who's comfortable talking about anything under the sun.

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Send me a short intro and let's see if we vibe :)

(Long story ahead)

Hi guys, tell me kung OA lang ba ako or am I not getting right what TOTGA is? Haha kasi recently, may nalaman akong news about someone I had a huge crush on back when I was 15, then I realized baka kaya hindi ako makatagal-tagal sa isang relasyon kasi siya talaga yung "TOTGA" ko.

He was never my boyfriend though and we never dated to begin with, pero yung naramdaman ko sa kanya, masasabi kong siya ang "first love" ko.

I met him back when I was 15 years old and he was 16, this was summer of 201*, nagpapamedical kami nun sa university na papasukan namin. Since uuwi pa kami nun sa province, maaga akong pumunta as in mga 6am andun na ako thinking na ako yung mauuna sa pila. Pero pagdating ko sa University Clinic, pangatlo na agad ako haha una yung pretty girl, pangalawa siya, tapos ako.

Di ko pa siya kinakausap noon, pero pasulyap-sulyap ako haha pogi niya kasi eh. Medyo kahawig niya yung artista na si Luis Alandy nung younger years niya. Nung nasa pila na kami, di ko pa rin siya kayang kausapin pero nakikipagngitian naman ako haha then habang nakaupo kami magkatabi, sinulyapan ko yung result ng college entrance test niya para malaman ko yung name haha at nung nakuha ko full name niya, tinandaan ko talaga hanggang makauwi ako ng province at makapag-Facebook para i-add siya hahaha (Take note, di pa nito uso yung FB sa mobile phones 🤣).

Nung na-add ko na siya, nagchat agad ako: "Hi! Ako nga pala yung kasabay mo sa medical kanina. Pwede ba tayo maging friends? :)", di siya agad nagreply nun pero nung nag open ulit ako ng FB, nakita kong nakaaccept na yung FR ko and nagreply siya: "Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure! :)" haha tandang-tanda ko pa yang reply na yan.

Nung officially college students na kami, di pa kami agad nun naging close. Magkaiba kami ng college nun and puro lang kami batian/tanguan pag nagkakasalubong. Luckily, may classmate ako na naging common friend namin so medyo nagkaroon kami ng common ground.

It was only after 7 months nung finally, nagkakausap na kami through texts and chats haha I remember same kaming mahilig sa knock-knock jokes at kung anu-anong puns. Then suddenly, after 2 or 3 months bigla siyang naglaho. Wala akong naging balita sa kanya kahit yung friend namin, nalaman ko na lang pumasok siya sa seminaryo.

Nagmove-on na lang ako pero sobrang sakit haha naging assuming lang siguro ako na nagkakasomething na samin, na finally my prayers are being answered. Nakausad din naman ako, nagkaboyfriend pa nga ako eh, pero lumabas din siya eventually sa seminaryo. Namuhay bilang normal na binata, nagtrabaho, etc. Akala ko di na siya tutuloy sa pagiging pari.

In between those years na college kami and siya nasa seminaryo, nagkakausap naman kami every summer vacation. Lagi pa niyang sinasabi nun, gusto niya makarating sa province namin tapos ako tour guide niya haha siyempre si bading asang asa naman kahit alam nang nasa seminaryo yung ekalal oh 🤣

Fast forward nung pandemic, saka ko naamin sa kanya yung nararamdaman ko. I told him kung gaano ko siya hinahangaan sa kabaitan niya, sa pagiging gentleman niya, sa pagiging mabuti niyang kapatid, anak, at kaibigan. He appreciated it naman and di naman nagbago yung turingan namin, nagkaroon pa nga kami ng oras para magusap tungkol sa mga hilig namin and sa work.

Pero after that, naglaho na naman siya. Huli kong balita sa kanya nasa abroad siya, hindi siya naging active sa socmed and nawala na nga rin nang tuluyan yung mga account niya. Recently, I asked our common friend kung may balita ba siya, wala rin daw. After a few days, may sinend siya sakin na fb post na naordain na siya as pari.

Di ko alam ang mararamdaman ko haha masaya ako kasi finally nasa mabuting kamay siya, pero andun din yung mga tanong sa isip ko like bakit kami pinagtagpo, anong lesson ba ang itinuro ng connection namin sa akin, kung naaappreciate niya ba talaga ako o tinuring man lang na friend etc.

Pero one thing's for sure, siya ang TOTGA ko. Sa lahat ng mga lalaki sa buhay ko, siya ang bukod-tanging nagparamdam sakin ng gentleness na di ko naramdaman sa mga kuya ko at kay dad. Siguro, gustong sabihin sakin ni Lord na "Next time nak, wag masyadong magpadala sa emosyon, minsan binibigyan kita ng lalaki sa buhay mo hindi para jowain kundi para maramdaman mo ang pagmamahal Ko" hahaha.

Ganunpaman, masaya pa rin ako, kahit ngayon ko lang narealize na baka kaya hindi ako magkaroon ng long-term relationship kasi hinahanap-hanap ko siya sa katauhan ng iba, sa katauhan ng someone na kaya akong mahalin pabalik.

No, don't get me wrong. I'm still in my senses, siguro nacoconfuse lang ako sa nararamdaman ko because honestly, I had a crush on him when I first saw him and before all of these happened.

Let's call him Elio, we met personally for a few times and it involved some "naughty" actions haha pero di naman kami umabot sa sex talaga.

Even though may mga ganun kaming ganap, meron din kaming mga conversations na medyo "intimate". Like, things you really don't share with someone na fubu mo lang or something, so I guess from that set-up I am in between a "real friend" and an "fwb".

Connected naman kami sa socials, so di naman nalimit yung interactions namin sa ganun lang. Then time came na medyo matagal kaming hindi nag-usap for some reason na I won't share na here. Recently, naging connected ulit kami, this time medyo mas naging open pa kami sa isa't isa. Mas naging game sa biruan, etc. Then after a few days of reconnecting, may nangyari na talaga sa amin.

I really don't know what to feel about what happened. I mean, I still like him as a friend and i've always wondered how it's like doing the deed with him, but I realized kahit pala may mga times na we were doing sexual things with each other, hindi talaga sex ang habol ko sa kanya. What I felt when we were doing the deed was different from how I felt with random hookups. I wasn't as rough as I used to be, like a pestle losing all its pride gently thrusting in its mortar.

O baka naman I just always see the good in him kahit ilang beses niya na akong winarningan na he's a walking red flag. Anyway, I have no plans of pursuing him anyway kasi ilang beses niya na rin naman akong dinidismiss when i'm being too gentle or sweet with him, but i'm not closing my doors.

To you, Elio. No matter how many times you push me away and make me feel that you will never like me the way I like you, I will only keep a safe distance but you can never make me hate you or lose all my admiration towards you. I know that behind the slightly untamed persona that you're showing to the public, hides the sweet little boy who only wants to be held.

I like you so much, Elio and that will never change.

Hi guys! GY shifter here haha not a lot of work to do today, tara usap tayo through voice call? Kahit ano lang haha

About me:

- Working from home

- Madaldal pag interesting ang topic haha

About you:

- Yung gusto lang din makipagusap tonight

- Preferably 27 and above (para mas madaling makarelate lmao)

- Message me lang with a ahort intro about you and let's start there. Thanks!