Struggling with mortality
I’ve had my 16yo kitten, Taboo, since I was 20, and she’s truly my favorite thing on Earth. Lately I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that she won’t be here forever, as the diagnoses start to stack up. She’s still so energetic and loving, but she’s managing (well!) a few conditions - mild Stage II CKD (which has been stable for a couple of years thanks to RX food), IBD (daily prednisolone), and hypertension (daily amlodipine). But every vet visit is emotional torture for me - it feels like we come out of it with a worry about her weight, a new medication, or another lab “to be safe”.
At least 1-2x a day I find myself tearing up at the thought of her death and the impending grief. Logically I know the day is coming and I know that worrying now does nothing, but it’s paralyzing. It feels like life won’t go on after she’s gone. My family and friends have joked for years that they’ll be on stand by and I’ll have to be institutionalized- and frankly, they might be right 😳. And before anyone suggests a kitten, she’s such an only child cat, the last thing I want to do is to add stress to her golden years.
I can’t be alone with this - how do you all cope??