u/catscacti

I (29f) am having so much trouble playing with my five year old son. I love him with all my heart, and I don’t want him to think that I am uninterested in him, but I HATE playing.

I didn’t used to hate playing. I used to be pretty good at it. I think I’m just really burnt out, and I don’t know how to climb out of this depression/burn out I’m in. I feel horrible because he’s an only child and all of our family is across the country.

We have friends that we schedule play dates with, but most of the time it’s just my son, husband, and me. I’m a SAHM who lives in the desert. So my son is on summer break and it’s over 100 degrees everyday. We have a pool that we take him in. I usually leave that to my husband though. I hate the feeling of getting into the pool/having a wet bathing suit and think way too much about the dirt that could be in it. lol.

We are a gamer family, but I don’t want our only activity to be screens. I love art, crafts, and creative things, but I can only get my kid to do them for about 10 mins lol.

What has helped you play with your kid? I feel horrible that I’m so bad at play. I want to make my kid feel seen and loved. 🥺💕

I am trying to plan a trip for my 30th birthday in August. I really wanted to go to LA (because it’s drivable) and go to the One Piece Cafe. We were going to plan with my parents to meet us there. They live across the country from me and I don’t get to see them much.

My husband says we could only go for a few days. I ended up giving up on it because I don’t want to be rushed. I haven’t had an actual vacation in almost a decade. I feel so burnt out and angry at the rising inflation. The rage I feel when I think too hard about the root cause is something only you ladies can relate to.

Now idk what to do. I swear anytime I try to make plans I just get depressed and want to go back to bed. Is this an ADHD thing? Hubby says we could plan a different vacation later in the fall, but I really wanted to go to the cafe for my bday and explore someplace new.

Now I just don’t want to go anywhere, but I do, but I don’t. 🫠 How do I get my brain to function through this?

So, I have been going to the same therapist for about 3 years now. She had helped me through one of the toughest times of my life as I went through health complications that almost ended my life. We’ve even talked about how I feel health professionals dismiss me, and she agreed about everything and taught me how to better advocate for myself. She had gone through cancer and related to my struggles.

I have always been gracious and patient with her. There has not been a single appointment that she has been on time to. I’m talking 30mins-1hour or so late. She also has ADHD, so I cut slack. Annoyingly, there were times that she was so late that I had to ask to reschedule. Even more annoying is that the company she works for charges me if I’m late or no show. I was vomiting one appointment day, told her I couldn’t make it, and then some dude called me later charging me over $100.

Even with all of this, I thought she actually cared about me. She was always nice to me and we had been working on some EMDR. My last appointment with her was supposed to be at the beginning of May, but I ended up with Strep. I texted her the day before and told her I’d like to do my appointment, but idk if I’d be able to stay on the whole hour because of my throat. I asked if it was okay or if I should reschedule? She asked me to reschedule.

I have been trying since that day to get an appointment with her. I’ve circled back and asked her what her availability is after a week and every week since. I’ve been seriously trying to be patient. The last text I got from her was last week saying she had availability on Thursday or Friday. I asked what times she has available and never got a response back.

I feel so hurt and like she’s rejected me in some way. I also really need a therapist appointment because it’s like my exes are haunting me lately in really fucked up ways. I’m married now and shouldn’t give a shit, but I found out the guy I was with before my husband is locked up for pedophilia. I lived with him and I feel disgusting and stupid for not figuring it out. She knows about this stuff and I feel like she’s ghosted me!

I think I’m going to try to find a new therapist, but I have so much anxiety about that. I know it’s the RSD, but I feel like another therapist won’t like me or will drop me. If you were me, would you text my therapist and let her know that you are hurt and won’t be seeking out her services anymore?