Parents are forcing me to go to local college
I, 17F got a low percentile in jee so govt colleges were not an option to begin with so i secretly applied for a few universities which have their own entrance exams like SRM, chandigarh university, UPES and IILM.
Due to going out of town i couldn't give the CU's entrance exam. I was short of money and I couldn't apply for the next phase either since my parents weren't going to help me with college application fees. I had to manage it all on my own.
Meanwhile i got good ranks in the other exams, i was getting btech cse at SRM's main branch.
I thought if i told my parents about it they would be happy and for once in my life they would tell me that they were proud of me but they got mad at me instead.
They told me to quit dreaming and get over it and to suck it up and just go to this local college.
I'm devastated rn, idk what to do with my life anymore. it honestly feels so freaking hard to wake up everyday knowing I'm a failure. I begged them to let me go to a better college, i cried in front of them, i did everything i could do that was in my reach. I promised them that i obviously can't fix my past mistakes but i will fs work hard in the future and make up for it.
Still they refuse to listen to me, my dad even told me that if u regret it sm then just take a drop and give jee again or do 12th again with bio this time instead of maths and do mbbs.
Tbh, i would have chosen the first option of giving jee again because the other one is straight up bullshit but the thing is its so hard to live in the same house as my parents. Only ik how im gonna manage to survive these few months at home so god knows what will happen to my mental health if i had to spend another year in the same house as my dad.
To tell you all the truth, i genuinely feel like 💀 myself from a few months. But i was also a person with dreams once and i don't wanna end it like this i wanna be better but how? How exactly am i gonna be better? Because istg if they put me in that college, i feel like i would fail, like how am i supposed to focus on my studies when i will have to wake up everyday knowing that my life could have been better, i could have been better. All i needed was another chance.